Wrapping His Foot In Aluminum Foil Is A Trick You Will Be Happy To Know! Tabs, Fri., May 22, 2020

Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

I know he's obsessed with eugenics and his perfect genes — just look at him, the best — but I am speechless he said this at Old Nazee Ford's joint.

Tom the Dancing Bug: The Lottery.

Weird, even half of Republicans don't want Granny to die. — Daily Kos

Some meathead says NJ gov is playing "dirty tricks" on him by shutting down his gym that by law should have been shut down anyway, just because the floor was covered with poo. (Daily Beast)

Some wanker — an actual one, arrested for it and everything because TYRANNY — held a Brooklyn rally for non-New Yorkers to drive thousands of miles to and tell the state how to conduct its business. Like half a dozen people showed up. (Brooklyn Paper)

Sweden doesn't think it's fair that you're noticing all the people who died, died. — Stuff

The rent is still due in Kushnerville. (ProPublica)

Speaking of which, if you need help with yours, email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com, and if you don't need help with yours, here's our gofundme.

Caity Weaver succeeds in comparing apples to submarines. (New York Times)

Alex Berenson, the former New York Times reporter who wrote Reefer Madness: The Schizophrenianing, is a big conservative media star for "questioning" the elite wisdom on "coronavirus, is it even a thing"? (Media Matters)

o hai 1986

THE HOOD INTERNET presents 1986 youtu.be

Trump wishes he could run against Hillary again, so she could beat him by more this time. — Daily Beast

Trump's strategy: Go after Obama. By ... putting Lindsey Graham in his Burn Book? LOL.

Last Thursday, Trump tweeted at Senate Judiciary chair Lindsey Graham, saying that Graham needed to call Obama to testify at hearings on Michael Flynn's unmasking and the origin of the Russia probe. Graham rejected the request. "Trump thinks Lindsey isn't doing anything on Flynn," a former White House official said. According to the former official, Trump recently asked prominent allies to tweet negative things about Graham, and he has been complaining that Graham is a hanger-on. "Trump has said, 'Since [John] McCain died, Lindsey follows me around and shows up to play golf and I don't even invite him,'" according to the source briefed on the conversation.

— Vanity Fair

The Main Street Alliance small business group would like Mitch McConnell to GTFOH with his "immunity" bullshit for bad corporate actors who make their employees sick. (Alternet)

Nancy Pelosi has changed House rules so as to allow proxy voting instead of putting 435 people in one room, at least for 45 days. Good. (Politico)

Wilson Roosevelt Jerman, former White House butler for 11 presidents beginning with John F. Kennedy, has died of the coronavirus. — Obit, NBC

What wasn't the State Department inspector general investigating? Now it's a protocol chief with a whip??? — Liz at Above the Law


America's First Connoisseur: James Hemings, Thomas Jefferson's brother-in-law, chef, and slave. (Paris Review)

Scandals of Classic Hollywood: Gloria Swanson and apparently a SAGA! V old tab by Anne Helen Peterson at the much-missed The Hairpin.

How David Neiwert helped make Sarah Palin CRAZY! It must have taken ever so much work. V v old tab at Crooks & Liars.

I'm so tired. Okay bye.

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