I Almost Threw My Keurig In The Trash - Then This Happened! Tabs, Fri., May 28, 2021

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Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Establishment QAnon influencers trying to fight off the flat-earth Jews-started-World-War-II QAnon influencer who says Joe Biden is being played by James Woods in an Edgar Joe Biden suit. And you already know how this will end. — Vice

Officer Sicknick's mother and partner seek to meet with Republican senators to ask them to vote for a congressional commission investigating the Capital riots: "GOPers argue that approving [the 1/6 commission] would hurt the party's chances of winning elections during next year's midterms." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Talking Points Memo)

Mitch saw the insurrection and he thinks he liiikes iiiit. (And now you are earwormed, YOU'RE WELCOME.) "McConnell is deeply concerned that lobbying from the late officer Brian Sicknick's mother will cause Republican members to lose their resolve and agree to a bipartisan commission that looks into the events of January 6. [CNN's Jamie] Gangel says that McConnell is now asking members to vote against said commission as a 'personal favor.'"— Tim Miller at The Bulwark

A jury convicted him of murder, the state police commission (!!!) pulled his certification, and he's still drawing his policeman's salary. DOJ, come do your thing. (AL.com)

"The legislation would ban vaccine requirements on customers, employees or students from businesses, hospitals, nursing homes, K-12 schools, colleges, daycares, or others. It would also prevent governments, insurers, or businesses from offering incentives for people to get vaccinated, or even requesting that people get vaccinated." What I wouldn't give for Republican Gov. Mike DeWine (who's an asshole!) to (presumably) veto these lunacies instead of Republican Gov. Greg Gianforte just cold signing every piece of shit vaccine "protected class" bill my mean, bloodless, yet somehow not stupid state senator sends him. — Ohio National Journal

California's following Ohio's lead, is a clause I just typed, and will be doing all kind of vax-a-millions. Good! (Politico)


This white nationalist elementary school teacher sounds like THE PITS! — HuffPost

Storytime!

Democrats need to stop listening to Republicans' fake negotiations. (The Week)

Biden mocks Republicans for bragging on recovery plan they voted against. As he should! (Politico)

Trump Org audit thyself, or some shit. — Mother Jones

Andrew Yang's (cynical? dim?) pander to the Haredi schools turning out students who graduate without literally ever hearing the terms "civil war" or "American slavery," much less learn MATH. (Harold Meyerson at The American Prospect)

The (very nice!) West Virginia Trumper lady who Benghazisplained Benghazi to Ben Rhodes while he was there writing his memoir (Wonkette cut link!), "How I Gave The Stand-Down Orders And Then Lied About 'The Videotape' In Benghazi." (Atlantic)

The professor who became a cop. Longish-read The New Republic on Rosa Brooks's Tangled Up in Blue. (Wonkette cut link)

REPARATIONS:

"Black Tulsa is a happy city. It has new clothes. It is young and gay and strong," W.E.B. Dubois wrote after a 1926 visit. "Five little years ago, fire and blood and robbery leveled it to the ground. Scars are there, but the city is impudent and noisy. It believes in itself. Thank God for the grit of Black Tulsa."

Then they chopped it up with "urban renewal" or freeways or however you do. (NBC News)

Why is your tongue bleeding? DO WE ALL HAVE MOUTH CANCER? — Healthline

Know your place at the cookout! (Dr. Regina Bradley at Food and Wine) (I love olives in potato salad.)

These Memorial Day weekend summer cocktails all have too much liquor that NOBODY has (orgeat? the fuck!), except the cucumber gimlet, which we shall drink, together. (Liquor) Or don't do that, and just do sangria: two bottles of red wine (or one big Costco "sangria"), a sliced lemon, a sliced lime, some liquor (peach-flavored grain alcohol at my house), a glug of orange juice, a chopped up apple and a pear if I've got one, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Or click over to Food and Wine, they are so pretty.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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