Foods The Queen Forbids The Royal Family From Eating! Tabs, Mon., April 20, 2020

Tabs gifs by Martini Ambassador

This is a sad good read in the New York Times. He was a Trumper but not a dick really. He believed Fox News and the president.

If you have any Bloomberg articles left and want to learn every disgusting thing Carnival Cruises has ever done and why FUCK NO THEY SHOULD NEVER GET AN AMERICAN PENNY: "Carnival execs knew they had a virus problem, but they kept the party going." (Bloomberg)

Hell of a reporting job by BBC talking to Smithfield workers at home. Fuck you Smithfield. Fuck you South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem.

Oprah needs to make amends for Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz. — Daily Beast

"[I]f you never lie, you build up enough good will and credibility to pull off one giant lie. This will be yours, and it will require the performance of a lifetime." "I'm Working Remotely. Can I Keep Hiding My Secret Baby?" — Caity Weaver, New York Times

Kate Brown in the New Yorker on our microbial interdependence, and I'm not saying it right to make you click, but it's fascinating and beautiful and :/

Donald Trump went off on Maggie Haberman's "Mark Meadows is a big crybaby" story last week. I choose to pretend his entire rant is the lesson we should be taking: "It's All Right to Cry" with Rosie Grier from Free to Be You and Me.

It's Alright to Cry (it's gonna make you feel better!)

Nothing about New York's outbreak was inevitable. Good story in Slate.

This is interesting: Michael Savage, yes that Michael Savage, has been screaming and yelling about Hannity et al. spreading coronavirus for months. Turns out he was trained in epidemiology ... and his son founded Rockstar Energy drinks? I know that's not the part I'm supposed to take from the story, but it's in my forehead now and it just won't leave. (NYT)

Um, Donald Trump is still paying out hundreds of millions in no-bid contracts for WALL. (Daily Beast)

He's also giving World Health Organization money to Franklin Graham instead, according to this "LifeNews" post (don't click, it's terrible).

Julia Sweeney talked to The Stranger in January.

When you think about the future, what do you think about?
This is what I think. We're in for a fucking shit show on climate. I've read Jared Diamond's Collapse that looks at every society that's had major climate challenges and how they've dealt with it one way or the other, and some have survived it and some haven't. We're not going to survive it. It's too big and it's too many people on the planet. What I think is going to happen is the climate, either in our lifetime or a little after, is going to get really bad, there's going to be a huge culling of the population, there's going to be some fucking pathogen that comes out of some ice permafrost in Greenland that's going to kill 50 percent of us overnight, it could even get down to the 10,000 individuals that it was in Africa 150,000 years ago that created our species, and there's no way to predict where to be and how it will be. I hope remnants of our civilization survive. That's how dark my feeling is. I think people are going to get a lot more religious. It's going to get bad.

Shan baby, you're essential.

Here is a two-year-old tab eviscerating a true crime podcast I have never listened to. I enjoyed it! (Slate)

Julia Child's favorite roast chicken. The skin was terrific, the rest was fine, it was chicken, it's fine. — Food and Wine

This is how you make cocktails from whatever you have, as long as what you have includes liquor. (Food and Wine)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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