Is It Allergies Or Is It Coronavirus? Tabs, Mon., March 30, 2020

News

How the FDA and CDC fucked off for a month with coronavirus testing. (New York Times)

The White House turned down emergency appropriations for testing and medical supplies from Congress two months ago. (MSN)

Those thousand coronavirus deaths are vastly undercounted. A funtimes happyface splainer! (Washington Post)

The dick lawyer who thinks he's an epidemiologist, who wrote the Hoover Institute "theory" that only 500 people would die, a "theory" that's being circulated around the White House, agreed to be interviewed by Isaac Chotiner of the New Yorker. Never agree to be interviewed by Isaac Chotiner of the the New Yorker. (New Yorker)

If I'm reading this right (I am), this is the president doing a signing statement bullshit that says the congressional oversight of Mnuchin's slush fund is unconstitutional.


Why your college kid who lives with you, or even your 17-year-old, isn't eligible for a stimulus check (nor you for them): Hint, Chuck Grassley's a piece of shit. — Wall Street Journal

Meanwhile, Germany's carving out 50 billion Euros in checks for artists.

Meanwhile meanwhile:

"Now we know: Conservative devotion to life ends at birth." God loves a convert and all, but no, Max Boot, now you know. — WaPo

"We didn't know," says Trump adviser who should have known and also knew. (Vanity Fair)

I too would like to have dinner with Jim Clyburn. Sounds like a total blast. (Financial Times)

Wondering if maybe the Mashpee Wampanoag, which was just disbanded by the Department of the Interior, is a real nation or the fake kind like Kevin McCarthy's brother-in-law gets federal contracts from being enrolled in? Does 'they're the Natives who met the Pilgrims four hundred goddamn years ago' answer your question?

Relevant!


And an answer, did you guess it?

A riddle in New England: A casino, 321 acres of Indian tribal land and a presidential tweet (WaPo)

If I listened to podcasts, I would for sure listen to The Darkest Timeline with Ken Jeong and Joel McHale. For sure!

Don't buy this wine stopper from a Bisbee wonker's Etsy store, because I just did!

Don't buy this particular Scottish unicorn amulet among all the pagan amulets from an Oklahoma wonker's Etsy store, because I just bought that too!

Do YOU have an Etsy store? Tell us about it at rebecca at wonkette dot com!

These DC restaurants have become food co-ops. Cool story from Washington City Paper.

That's it, sorry, it's (time machine!) Sunday night and I have to go watch Glengarry Glen Ross with Old Dad, Shy, and good stepson Keifer. Two out of the four of us (I AIN'T POINTING ANY ELBOWS) have not seen it! It was not me or Old Dad! Last Sunday night's Family Movie Night (Donna Rose took a bubble bath) was Cool Hand Luke, so now they have to trust me on best movies ever before Keifer goes out to the Wonkebago with a hearty round of THAT'S A NIGHT IN THE BOX.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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