Why This Hall & Oates Video Sparked Outrage! Tabs, Thurs., March 18, 2021

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Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

JUSTIFIED! (Variety)

Now you can sing the JUSTIFIED theme song while you read about all the people the FBI is still arresting for the Capitol Riot, like this prince! (HuffPost)

Or these ones!

JUSTIFIED!

Youtuber so mad he is being charged with all the illegal things he filmed himself doing. (Jalopnik)

JUSTIFIED!


West Virginia Governor Jim Justice wants to attract throngs of people, maybe a Disney park, by slashing the income tax (and then increasing the sales tax). Oh no, don't get trampled in a cartoon stampede. (WV Public Radio)

JUSTIFIED!

Republicans worry that they shit the bed in forgetting to argue against the COVID relief bill, so Politico very helpfully gives them a chance to spout all the scurrilous lies and accusations they can imagineer, starting with noted truth teller Steve Bannon and progressing all the way to noted truth teller Newt Gingrich. If you can get past them and some other bitches being bitches, and why would you really, eventually Politico will tell you it's a good bill, it's a bipartisan bill, and darn it, people like it. (Politico)

Welcome back, earmarks! We missed you, buddies, and your politically lubricating ways, you are like a back rub and a Scotch but for congressional districts. (Brookings)

What's Sherrod Brown up to? Let's ask American Banker!

What's Lisa Murkowski up to? Voting to confirm Deb Haaland as Interior secretary (as did the other Alaska senator, what's his name), and being censured the next day by the Alaska Republican Party, who say they will recruit someone to primary her in 2022. Murk, just do it. All those votes toeing their stupid, anti-American line, and they want you politically dead. Come be a Democrat or at least an independent-who-caucuses-with-Democrats, so I can finally have a reason for thinking you'll do something good this time, maybe, a girl can dream. (Salon)

What's Marsha Blackburn up to? Well, as the country was in shock from the shooting rampage culmination of a year of anti-Asian hate crimes, she really really REALLY needs you to know whose side she is on.

Well. Um. Hrmmm. The sheriff's spokesman who said the shooter "had a bad day" previously shared his COVID-19 IMPORTED VIRUS FROM CHY-NA T-shirt on Facebook. Beyond everything else, and I mean EVERYTHING ELSE, how is that a phrase you would see on a shirt and then pay money for? What is it you want to tell the world so badly? That you should not be a public servant? (Buzzfeed)

A little history on the fetishization of Asian women, going back to the nation's first law prohibiting them from entering the country because "prostitution." (NBC News)

Hollywood and the hilarious "Asian" punchline โ€” really, it's the whole punchline except when the punchline is "Asian sex worker," which too many of us have trafficked in. โ€” Variety

The neighborhoods we made Black people move to through government-mandated redlining are more susceptible to flooding. Obviously. (Our Daily Planet)

*Music note emoji* Fox News wants you to die! *Music note emoji* โ€” Molly Jong-Fast at Daily Beast

Oh dear, Europe is getting hit with a third COVID wave and vaccines have mostly been paused. Be careful Europe, we want you to be okay! โ€” Politico

Martini is a tabs hed HERO. She found a Snopes on yesterday's stupid headline and it is everything we always wanted a tabs hed to be! "Online advertisements promoting this household tip involving vinegar, bread, and a garage did not actually explain or mention such a tip in its resulting 92-page slideshow." Also, they "may have meant to say 'garbage' instead of garage." (Snopes)

Pineapple Foster? I will never stop loving you, Food and Wine, like I stopped loving Elle Decor after they showed me 51 ugly chairs in a row. (Food and Wine)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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