Losing More Hair Than Usual? You're Not Alone! Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 17, 2020

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Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!


What? Nothing, why?

The traditional narrative is likely conflated from some factual and mythical events which include the visions by a French boy and a German boy, an intention to peacefully convert Muslims in the Holy Land to Christianity, bands of children marching to Italy, and children being sold into slavery. Many children were tricked by merchants and sailed over to what they thought were the holy lands but, in reality, were slave markets.

(Wikipedia)

Oh no the Deep State got Redfield. "CDC Director: Masks Are 'More Guaranteed' to Save Lives Than a Vaccine." (American Independent)

Small business is le fucked. — Politico

But not Rudy Giuliani! Giuliani got hundreds of thousands of dollars in PPP loans for a company he didn't remember owning, that seems to have no employees that anyone can tell, and the loan was processed through Jared Kushner and Ivanka's pet Signature Bank. Same, tbh. — Salon


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And now she's Delaware's Senate nominee:

But the story of how [Lauren] Witzke went in just a few years from being a drug-dealing heroin addict to a QAnon-believing, racism-spewing, Flat Earth-believing nominee for federal office illustrates both the tumultuous politics of 2020 and the conspiracy theories and racist beliefs gaining traction in the GOP.

Congrats Republicans! (Daily Beast)

Oh I see, Jason Miller's a piece of shit then, and it seems like the Trump campaign might be helping him hide his money from his baby child!

According to Florida court filings in the support dispute, Miller reported an income of $683,660 in 2019 ― but continued to argue that he could not afford to pay $3,167 per month in child support for the son he fathered during the 2016 Trump campaign with a female colleague. For a period of six months early this year, he paid only $500 a month in child support ― despite reporting monthly personal expenses that included $1,500 for food and "home supplies," $750 for meals out, $473 for maid service and $1,517 in car payments.

HuffPost

Who else getting hidden payments? Oh, some folks.

Eric Boehlert's got receipts.

"MINNESOTA: Some See an Edge for Trump," read one headline. The [New York] Times interviewed just two people for the article and both thought Biden was facing trouble in Minnesota. Trump "looks stronger politically in the state than he did in 2016," and Biden was "hardly a lock to carry the state," the Times reported, even though the daily just found Biden's lead to be nine points, seven weeks from Election Day.

"The Press Is Desperate for a Horse Race," PressRun

This doctor is sorry his words were "misinterpreted" when he lied about his daughter being attacked by BLM in Baltimore. (Buzzfeed)

I am legitimately surprised. Grand jury indicts Nebraska bar owner who shot and killed Black Lives Matter protester James Scurlock. The prosecutor originally thought "self defense" would stand: "But I can tell you that there is evidence that undermines that and again that evidence comes primarily from [the shooter] himself." — Buzzfeed

Bill Gates Sr. was by all accounts a remarkable fellow. (Seattle Times)

I legitimately love the Nora Ephron non-romantic comedy Lucky Numbers and just watched it again three nights ago and am actually shocked to find it in this list of movies that got an F from CinemaScore and now the guy watched all of them, like Freddy Got Fingered and Lucky Numbers those are not the same. — Screen Crush

Merriam Webster, the people's dictionary, continues to crush my elitist soul with "irregardless." — Dictionary

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Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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