Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is opening an official investigation into WTF happened on January 6. (CNN)

The goons who guarded campy Batman villain Roger Stone would later join the Capitol riot. This is not my shocked face. (The New York Times)

Retiring Washington Post editor Martin Baron has admitted that the paper should've called Trump a “liar" years ago. Eric Boehlert wonders why it took so damn long. (Pressrun)

A George Floyd-themed "Valentine's Day" card declaring “You Take My Breath Away" was circulating around the LAPD, because a lot of sociopaths work there. (LA Times)

Kali Holloway takes us to Forsyth County, Georgia, where Majorie Taylor Greene grew up. Just north of Atlanta, it was an area I learned to avoid as a child. (The Daily Beast)


Andrew J. Bacevich wonders if America's soul is beyond redemption. This seems like one of those trick questions. (The Nation)

Sonny Bunch, culture editor at The Bulwark, believes that some films are better seen on the big screen and around other people in a theater. I'll take his word for it. (The Atlantic)

Massachusetts scored an “F" on its vaccination report card. That's not wicked awesome! (This joke also scores an “F.") (Boston Globe)

Dr. Anthony Fauci received the $1 million Dan David Prize for his work during "defending science" the COVID-19 pandemic. The twice-impeached thug probably really misses Twitter right now. (NPR)

Washington Governor Jay Inslee announced that restaurants can resume indoor dining. Unfortunately, restaurant workers under the age of 65 aren't on the priority list for COVID-19 vaccinations. For those who came in late, restaurants are generally enclosed spaces where patrons must remove their masks to eat. (Eater)

A GOP donor gave $2.5 million for a voter fraud investigation. He wants his money back or at least an equivalent amount of magic beans. (Washington Post)

Texas voted against President Joe Biden, and most of the state's elected officials supported disenfranchising voters in the swing states Biden won. However, when a severe winter storm slammed Texas and Governor Greg Abbott asked for help, Biden never hesitated approving federal aid. That's what it's like to have an actual American president again. (Austin-American Statesman)

Portland is covered in ice, and some residents are left without power or heat. I don't care what the song says. I hate the winter weather. (The Oregonian)

BTW: The Squirrel Nut Zippers recorded my favorite version of "Winter Weather."

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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