Five Reasons You Should Consider Giving The New Year A Second Chance. Tabs, Tues., Jan. 12, 2021

Five Reasons You Should Consider Giving The New Year A Second Chance. Tabs, Tues., Jan. 12, 2021
Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

It's annoying that Republicans are urging “unity" not even a week after Donald Trump's goons invaded the Capitol. However, the British burned the White House in 1812 and now we can't get enough of their costume dramas. I'm not saying unity's impossible. It just takes longer than a week. (The New York Times)

Kansas City-based Hallmark wants its money back from seditionist Senators Josh Hawley and Roger Marshall, who voted against certifying Joe Biden's election win, even after Trump's mob invaded the Capitol. Other major companies, such as Marriott, is also done with these creeps. (Washington Post)

Washington D.C.'s acting US attorney predicts hundreds of arrests related to the Capitol siege. He's not ruling out dropping the hammer on anyone who incited the mob. (NPR)

This op-ed calling for Hawley's resignation is worth a subscription all by itself. (Kansas City Star)

Elie Mystal also details the many ways Hawley sucks. (The Nation)

Biden thinks the Senate can chew gum, confirm his Cabinet, and nail Trump to the wall at the same time.

Trump is technically still president but he might as well resign or be removed for all the actual presidenting he's doing. Meanwhile, he's still an ongoing national security threat. Love the shade in the last sentence of this paragraph. (The Atlantic)

Reports about the president's state of mind suggest that he is raging over his Twitter ban and calls for his resignation, all while consuming his customary intake of TV. He has not appeared publicly since his speech just before the riot. What meager presidential initiatives still remain, such as pardons for friends, family, and toadies, are apparently paused, though the president found time to award the Medal of Freedom to a trio of golfers and will award it as well to the New England Patriots' coach, Bill Belichick. All of these stories require the context that, throughout his presidency, Trump has shown little interest in the work of governance.

Trump's remaining staff feels demoralized. If this were a National Enquirer headline, it would read: Trump Staff's Sad Final Days. They deserve to feel bad now and forever, like they're watching the Cats movie. (Reuters)

They've arrested Zip-Tie Guy, aka Eric Munchel, who attended the attempted coup with his mother, which is simultaneously sweet and pathetic. (The Daily Beast)

My former congresswoman, Pramila Jayapal, describes what it's like to survive the Capitol siege as a woman of color. When you see those Confederate flags, you know they're not there to sell you Amway products. (The Cut)

Self-proclaimed free speech haven Parler is circling the drain now that Amazon, Apple, and Google have cut ties because of the site's violent content. Parler announces Monday that it plans to sue Amazon. Good luck with that. (The Verge)

Israeli restaurants in Portland, Oregon, were vandalized with "Free Palestine" graffiti. Don't be that asshole. (The Oregonian)

A "Sex and the City" reboot is on its way. The HBO Max series won't include Kim Catrall as Samantha Jones, who was my favorite character after Miranda. (Variety)

Longtime Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda has died. He was 93. (LA Times)

Lasorda also sold me on Glad zipper bags.

Follow Stephen Robinson on Twitter.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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