Here’s What Aliens Did To You During That Hour You Lost On Sunday! Tabs, Tues.,March 16, 2021
Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

New Mexico Rep. Deb Haaland was confirmed Monday to lead the Interior Department. Just four Republican Senators supported her nomination: Susan Collins, Lindsey Graham, and both Alaska Senators Dan Sullivan and Lisa Murkowski, who claimed she “struggled" with her vote. Haaland is the first Native American to serve in a presidential Cabinet. (Politico)

MAGA mob suspect Guy Reffitt bragged about his involvement in the January 6 Capitol siege, which he compared to the "preface" of a book, because he's a well-rounded insurrectionist. Anyway, he insists that "we took the Capital [sic] of the United States of America and we will do it again." We have a real president now who might actually call in the National Guard, so I wouldn't attempt an encore performance. (Newsweek)

Another MAGA mob suspect, Timothy Hale-Cusanelli, was an Army reservist, which is disturbing on its own, but he was also a known white supremacist who even grew a Hitler mustache while working as a Navy contractor with security clearance. I don't want to tell Nazis how to sympathize but you can still be awful without the silly mustache. (Washington Post)

A Fresno, California, police officer was placed on leave when it was discovered he's rightwing extremist. Yeah, I know, that seems redundant, but he's was literally a Proud Boy. (The Daily Beast)

CNN's Brianna Keilar reads Wisconsin GOP Senator Ron Johnson for filth. Please watch and enjoy.

The Vatican announced Monday that Catholic priests can't bless same-sex marriages because of all the gayness. As Jonathan Swift noted, there is just enough religion in the world to make us hate, but not enough to make us love. (NPR)

Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson thinks we should demilitarize the police. How are cops supposed to keep the suburbs safe from Cory Booker without tanks? (The Nation)

The one-term loser's incompetence was not the only reason America's pandemic response was less than ideal. (The Atlantic)

Current unemployment figures are likely undercounting millions who left the labor force because of health or child care issues. (The New York Times)

The child tax credit in the American Rescue Plan will provide many families up to $3,600 per child. And to think, Republicans would've only given us egg noodles and ketchup. (Wall Street Journal)

Buckingham Palace has hired an external law firm to determine if Meghan Markle bullied Royal staff while she was Black, because she is Black, you know. (CNN)

The Academy Award nominations are out and the Best Picture contenders fit the usual naming conventions: definite article with generic term (e.g. The Father), something ending in “land" (e.g. Nomadland), and random Mad Libs movie title (e.g. Promising Young Woman). (Variety)

I was last in Seattle on March 3, rehearsing a play that “but sleeps" until we can safely gather again. Check out what Seattle residents long for in a post-pandemic reality. Live theatre and music! Also, strangely, Costco samples. (Seattle Times)

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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