Tabs gif from your bestie Martini Ambassador!

Austin, Texas, joins Dallas in defying Governor Greg Abbott’s ban against mask mandates in schools. There’s some local control for his ass. (Austin American-Statesman)

Local Florida school superintendents are also refusing to let students die for Governor Ron DeSantis’ political ambitions. They’re also doing what’s right even if he threatens to take their big dollar paychecks. (Sun-Sentinel)

Jesus Christ, get vaccinated, people! (New York Times)


Dear God, don't let Larry Elder become governor of California. (LA Times)

House Republicans are bigger scaredy cats when it comes to the one-term loser than Senate Republicans, who compete in statewide elections not MAGA territory. (The Daily Beast)

Georgia’s current vaccination rate is 39 percent. Governor Brian Kemp’s response was to observe, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.” We’d probably have better luck convincing the average horse to take the vaccine than most human vaccine resisters. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

How Airbnbs led to tent cities in Venice Beach, California. (The Nation)

I can’t tell if the article about why you shouldn’t read at the beach is parody or not.

Reading is not a beachy activity. Reading is for armchairs and bay windows and loverless beds. Bring a book to the beach and you're agreeing to ruin the book. No matter how careful you are, sand will stuff the creases between the pages—seven years after a beach trip during grad school, I still find sand in my copy of Delmore Schwartz's collected poems. As a teenager, I vacationed in Jamaica with my dad's family during the school year and brought Candide—homework—to read on the beach. I fell asleep 10 pages in and woke up as flaky as fish food, my skin road-flare red save for the pale, book-shaped mark on my chest. Was the sunburn the book's fault or my fault for failing to apply sunscreen, intent on earning my first-ever tan?

Yeah, I’m still stumped. (The Atlantic)

Thanks to climate change, wildfires are no longer a west coast issue, and many Americans are moving into fire-prone areas without realizing it. (NPR)

How Joe Biden’s infrastructure deal could benefit my former fellow Washingtonians. (Seattle Times)

Nothing this bizarre ever happened during a Greenville City Council meeting when I accompanied a reporter to one during my intern days. That’s probably a good thing. (Greenville News)

Senate Democrats will attempt to advance their $3.5 trillion budge resolution through something called a “vote-a-rama.” There are an exciting bunch over at the Capitol. (CNN)

Actor Christina Applegate announced Tuesday that she’s been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a disease I especially loathe. (Washington Post)

Follow Stephen Robinson on Twitter.

If you enjoyed this story, please donate what you can to keep Wonkette going forever!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc