Wrap Your Feet In Aluminum Foil And Pull Out The Toxins!, Tabs, Wed., Jan. 19, 2022
Tabs gif by your friend Martini Ambassador!

It's Wednesday, and we're already in the mood to punch this week in the face. YAY!

Late last night New York Attorney General Letitia James dropped a motion to compel testimony by Donald Trump, Don Jr., and Ivanka Trump. In it, she laid out all the reasons she's investigating the family business, the same way she did back in 2020 when Eric Trump refused to testify. Kinda makes you wonder what these brain geniuses thought was going to happen when they did the same thing in 2022.

Vladimir Putin is holding a gun to Ukraine's head and threatening to shoot if Europe won't promise to roll back the 20th century. Axios says that Russia is using joint military exercises in its client state Belarus as a cover to station troops near Ukraine's northern border in preparation for an invasion. NYT has a story about Secretary of State Anthony Blinken's upcoming meeting with his Russian counterpart on Friday.

Over at the Supreme Court, Sen. Ted Cruz continues to prove himself the most useless git in Washington. He's the plaintiff in a campaign finance suit to vindicate the sacred right of donors to put money directly into the pockets of candidates because that is "free speech. There's a good rundown at Law & Crime and you can listen to oral argument at 10. Don't worry, you won't hear Ted Cruz's voice.

Chuck Schumer is doing ... something??? Is the plan to embarrass Manchin and Sinema into agreeing to a carve out in the filibuster for voting rights? Well, as everyone's favorite notary public Peggy Hill would say, "I hope those cats know how to run a toy store." [Politico]

Have we mentioned that Justice Gorsuch is a dick? Oh, we have? Well, let's mention it more, shall we? Because yesterday, he referred to the "so called separation of church and state," and then he had a total shitfit after the court wouldn't step in and force the city of Fredericksburg, Virginia to allow a church to take a tax deduction reserved for ministerial housing on property occupied by lay staffers. Discrimination against Christians is EVERYWHERE, insists the guy who refuses to see racial discrimination in the most insane racial gerrymander.

And while I am being mad about a thing, I was very mad yesterday at my other gig about Bill Barr's upcoming memory hole memoir and a lawsuit filed by inmates at an Arkansas jail who thought they were getting vitamins, antivirals, and steroids to treat their COVID, but were instead being dosed with horse dewormer. GRRRRR ARRRGHHHH!

In the category of still mad about a thing, there's a fun follow up story at the Chronicle of Higher Education on the ongoing saga of the University of Florida's quest to stop its professors from testifying against the DeSantis administration as it tries to ratfuck elections and cancel free speech. Is it a good thing when the judge threatens to haul the lawyer in to Tallahassee to answer questions under oath? Asking for the University's lawyer.

So you know that hostage situation in the Texas synagogue over the weekend? The one where Gov. Gregg Abbott raced to take credit the second it was over, despite the fact that the FBI was the one handling the negotiations? Just to be totally clear, the credit belongs to Rabbi Charlie Cytron-Walker, who made sure the coast was clear and threw a chair at the attacker while the other hostages ran out the door.


And speaking of religion, over at Flux our pal Matthew Sheffield had an interesting conversation with Bruce Wilson about the links between Christian nationalism and the January 6 Capitol Insurrection.

Lest you think it's all bad news, Atlanta's NBC affiliate has a fun story on Brian Kemp and David Perdue kicking the shit out of each other in the Georgia gubernatorial primary. More than a year after the election which saw him booted out of the senate, Perdue filed this dumbshit lawsuit rehashing a bunch of debunked fraud claims, and now Kemp is suing the Perdue campaign alleging campaign finance violations. Hey, if these two assholes want to bloody each other up before one of 'em faces off against Stacey Abrams in November, who are we to argue?

And HOSANNA the January 6 Select Committee finally got around to subpoenaing Rudy Giuliani, Jenna Ellis, and Sidney Powell. Oh pleasepleaseplease let there be public testimony for us to liveblog!

Finally, a follow up to Monday's post on DirecTV, which is owned by AT&T, dropping OAN from its lineup. Media Matters reports that OAN "personality" Dan Ball is asking viewers to dig up dirt on AT&T's chairman William Kennard, in light of the cancelation, which is a potential death blow to Trump's propaganda sidepiece.


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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