Tips And Tricks For Cleaning Up After A Republican Coke Boner Orgy! Tabs, Wed., May 18, 2022
Tabs gif from your friend Martini Glambassador!

The first rule of GOP coke boner orgies is you don't talk about GOP coke boner orgies! Rep. Madison Cawthorn learned that lesson the hard way last night, losing his primary to state Sen. Chuck Edwards, a slightly less embarrassing white guy. Time of campaign death: 9:47pm.

So satisfying!

Negotiations between the Justice Department and the January 6 Select Committee over sharing evidence appear to be ongoing, with the DOJ requesting transcripts of witness interviews and the Committee asking to see evidence collected thus far. Committee Chair Bennie Thompson is making noise about not turning "work product" over to the DOJ. We sure hope those crazy kids can work something out. (NYT, Politico)

A Trump-appointed federal judge in North Dakota issued a nationwide injunction to block the Biden administration enforcing a rule requiring employers who offer health insurance to cover gender-affirming care. US District Judge Daniel Traynor worried that the law invited lawsuits "if a medical provider refuses to gender transition their child, of any age, including an infant," and blamed Joe Biden for making him think about the possibility that "a newborn child could be surgically altered to change gender." And Traynor is only 52, wheeeee! (Above the Law)

And in Kansas, another toddler Trump and McConnell stuck on the bench blocked a school district from disciplining a teacher if she outed trans kids to their parents. See, the teacher believes that Jesus wants her to do it, and so they have to let her, according to US District Judge Holly Teeter, who is 43. Dear God! (ABA Journal)

AG Merrick Garland has been a busy bee behind the scenes. Yesterday the DOJ sued former RNC finance chair Steve Wynn, a casino magnate, for failing to register as an agent of the Chinese government under the Foreign Agents Registration Act. Wynn lobbied the Trump administration for the extradition of Guo Wengui, the anti-CCP billionaire who funds Steve Bannon's various escapades as well as Jason Miller's GETTR. LOL, remember when the GOP spent like three straight years pretending Biden was in bed with China?. (WaPo)

And the DOJ filed a superseding indictment against Tom Barrack, the businessman who chaired Trump's inaugural committee. Last year Barrack was indicted for being an unregistered foreign agent of the UAE, and yesterday prosecutors added some more charges involving a $374 million infusion of cash from that country's sovereign wealth fund into Barrack's private equity firm. (Reuters)

The jury trail of former DNC and Clinton campaign lawyer Michael Sussmann got underway yesterday in DC. Special Counsel John Durham is hoping to hang a vast conspiracy on the alleged failure of Sussmann to disclose his affiliations when he brought the Alfa Bank server info to the FBI. The problem is that everyone in DC knew who he worked for, so establishing materiality — i.e. proving that Sussmann's alleged lie could have materially altered the course of the FBI's investigation — might be a reach. The Post has a good summary of yesterday's hearing.

Meanwhile, everyone's favorite fake attorney general, Matthew "Meatball" Whitaker, is back to say that Sussmann won't get convicted because "it's in the District of Columbia, in front of a jury of, uh, you know, which, uh ... mostly left-leaning jurors." Wink wink nudge nudge if you know what he means, and if you don't your dog sure as hell does. (Above the Law)

Bloomberg Opinion columnist Matt Levine has the best rundown of WTF is going on with Elon Musk and Twitter. Spoiler Alert: Musk is acting in horrendously bad faith, and in America, no law can constrain the richest man in the world.

Perhaps you have a vague sense that Musk's understanding of the First Amendment and content moderation is, to put it bluntly, fucking childish. If you'd like to get less vague on this issue, Techdirt's latest podcast, with Mike Masnick and Renee DiResta from the Stanford Internet Observatory, is an excellent place to start.

And it appears that Dinesh D'Souza and True the Vote may have told one or two teensy tiny fibs about "2,000 Mules," their recently released vote fraud "documentary." If you can even believe such a thing! Seems they claim their digital device tracking is so sophisticated that they tipped off police, leading to the apprehension of the murderer of a child in Atlanta. Except not. (NPR)

Okay, Your Wonkette will, of course, have all the coverage of last night's primaries. We're like a regular Nate Silver over here, only we don't think we're an epidemiologist.

Time to fuck up this Wednesday! Get at it, y'all.

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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