Make Your Perfect Avocado Toast And We'll Sort You Into A Hogwarts House! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 26, 2020

Hello! It's still Rebecca's birthday week and so here I am to do tabs instead! I am gonna try to not be super depressing! But, well, *gestures at everything.*
Last night was the 80 millionth Democratic debate! You can check out our live blog here!
Here's a particularly frustrating Am I The Asshole?, in which a parent wanted to know if they were the asshole for wanting to be reimbursed for the $650 Epipen her child had that had to be used on another child (whose own Epipen was expired). Clearly, once again,America is the asshole.
Former Congressman Joe Walsh, long a reliable font of batshittery, wrote a very reasonable op-ed for the Washington Post about how when he says he's a Never Trumper, he means it, and will vote for Bernie Sanders if he is the nominee.
Utah is terrible, wants to charge people for the ultrasounds they are forcing them to get before they are allowed to get an abortion. An ultrasound at a hospital can cost anywhere from $200 to $1000, because our medical costs are ridiculous and based on nothing.
But on the bright side of the abortion street, two anti-choice bills — one of which would have banned abortion after 20 weeks, didn't even get enough votes from the US Senate's Republican majority to go forward.
On that same front, the ACLU is suing seven towns in Texas for banning abortion. The towns are not being sued for preciously declaring themselves "sanctuary cities for the unborn," but they should be.
Look at this nice veterinarian who goes around California treating homeless people's animals for free!
Two cheetah cubs have been born to a surrogate cheetah mother for the first time!
Singer Duffy revealed in an Instagram post that the heartbreaking reason why she hasn't been around for ten years is because she was kidnapped, drugged, raped and held captive for several days and just never felt like singing or doing anything after that. Ugh.
"You wonder why I did not choose to use my voice to express my pain? I did not want to show the world the sadness in my eyes. I asked myself, 'How can I sing from the heart if it is broken?' And slowly it unbroke,"
A woman in with a bullet in her head was sent home from a hospital in Miami, Florida, with a bandaid and some antibiotics. YIKES.
Mayor of Florence, Italy Dario Nardella, is suggesting that residents should hug Chinese people in order to "encourage them" in the fight against coronavirus. We do have our ways.
Wondering what Bernie was talking about last night with regards to America's support of dictators around the world? Wonder no more! Here is a ginormous Twitter thread I did on the subject of that, the School of Americas and the IMF/World Bank! It'll be just like going to a socialist potluck in the late 90s/early 2000s, but without the guy who is obviously way too old for you explaining his plan to redistribute the wealth of the nation and also the "understanding" he has with his wife.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse