Take Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 To The River!
Welcome, welcome bubbelehs, to another week gone by, and Wonkette's top 10 stories as chosen this week by a ravening pack of GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS VERY GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS! Which is weird, because dogs can't even read.
10. Don't Worry, Brazilian Jesus Statue! Trump Is On His Way To Save You! You know how concerned Trump is about "Jesus."
9. Springfield MA Detective Fired For Violating Department's Black Lives Don't Matter Policy. For real, got fired for posting Black Lives Matter, you even believe that shit?
8. And Now We Know Why Stephen Miller Fell In Love With His Wife. It's ugly, but he's not exactly a looker himself.
6. Sounds Like Mary Trump's Book Full Of Clues About What's Wrong With Donald Trump Jr. Oddly, Evan doesn't even spend that much time pointing out Junior's incorrect face.
5. Mississippi Election Lady Worries: 'The Blacks' Are Registering Voters, But What About PEOPLE? Oh she didn't mean it like that! (She meant it like that.)
4. Campaign In Chaos, As Trump Sits Home Crying In His Cheeseburger. Poor Trump, v sad, v v sad.
3. Here Is Your Fourth Of July Nice Things Spectacular! It's mostly pictures of cats.
2. Pow! Bang! Fireworks! It Is Wonkette's Holiday Begapalooza! To be fair, I did have it on the front page for a week. You can still read it! You can still send us $!!!
1. 36 Years Later, Conservatives Finally Read The Lyrics To 'Born In The USA'. Wasn't this one on last week too? Probably, it went ginormous.
And there you have Wonkette's top 10 stories, as chosen this week by a ravening pack of GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS VERY GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS!
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Now you have done all those things you may have pictures:
Daughter Donna Rose!
Ravening pack! Lotus, Dax, Lucy, and Emma!
Go on now, your beloved comments are waiting for you, we know why you're here.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.