Taliban Monkey To Make Afghanistan War Fun Again
Remember when America's invasion of Afghanistan was our Fun War? We were all like, "Well,usually I am not digging on war too much, plus I am a Democrat or whatever and still crying about Bush v. Gore, but those Talibans did do 9/11 maybe, or Saudi Arabia we guess, not really sure at all, but whatever they got the Taliban over there and we're gonna liberate their wimmins!" And then the next ten years happened ... SORRY, we mean, "and then a decade later this Barack Obama character started a war in Afghanistan for no reason." Anyway, now some Chinese news website is reporting that the Taliban have these gun monkeys.
From Discovery News:
The report indicates the Taliban was inspired by none other than the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, which it claims used peanuts and bananas to train "monkey soldiers" in Vietnam. This information was, in turn, attributed to a "British media" report from last month.
The story ends by saying, "A senior U.S. military source confirmed the existence of the Taliban monkey soldiers, military experts call armed monkeys 'monkey terrorists.'"
And it turns out this was Stanley McChrystal's thing, defeating these small-cell extremist monkey insurgencies, but then he went and blabbed to Rolling Stone about how Joe Biden and Barack Obama are a couple of nancy boys, and now we've got a full-scale monkey uprising. [Discovery News/People's Daily Online]