Ted Cruz's April Fools Joke Will Make You Die Of Gigglegasms And Go To Hell

Oh man, stop the presses because it is the official Worst Day Of The Internet, otherwise known as April Fools' Day! And what happens when the Worst Day Of The Internet combines with the Most Hated Senator Who Is Also Running For President And Is Also Canadian? HILARITY IS WHAT.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/598253/ted-cruz-double-dog-dares-donald-trump-to-meet-him-behind-the-gym-at-recess"></a>[/wonkbar]For months and months, Ted Cruz has been all "HEY DONALD TRUMP, DO YOU WANT TO MEET ME BEHIND THE GYM SO I CAN SHOW YOU HOW TICKED OFF I AM, WITH THE TINY FISTS I BLOW MY POUTINE FARTS ON WHEN NOBODY IS LOOKING, SO I CAN SMELL THEM?" And of course, Trump's reaction has been, "Not tremendous, not yooge, do not want."

Well, for the April Fools' Day holiday, Ted said a joke:

The Cruz for President campaign released the following video announcing that Donald Trump has accepted Ted Cruz’s invitation for a one-on-one debate.

KNEESLAPPER WE ARE DYING OF "OMG" AND "YA BURNT." Oh wait, that was not the punchline, sorry, we don't get #Canadian humor sometimes.

So there is the video above, and it started like this:

But then all of a sudden it was like this!


You get it? It is Rick Astley singing his famous hit tune "Never Gonna Give You Up!" This is a common #joke on the internet called Rick-Rolling. If you are one of those people who doesn't get jokes because you don't understand things, how it works is people make a video that says one thing, and then after that the song plays and it means you have been pranked and UR DUMB and YOU FELL FOR IT and then everybody in the world is murdered to death by gigglegasms.

For the record, Ted Cruz also thinks these things are funny:

  • Making hilarious jokes at Joe Biden's expense the very same week the vice president's son, Beau Biden, died of brain cancer.
  • Making hilarious jokes at Jimmy Carter's expense the same week Carter announced he has brain cancer.
  • Making hilarious jokes about guns, right after nine black churchgoers were murdered in Charleston.

And now we have a Rickroll to go with it, OH BOY WE HOPE HE GETS TO BE PRESIDENT, if our sides don't split in half because he's too hilarious.

Just kidding, fuck him in his punchable, foreign-born nostrils.

[Ted Cruz website viaPolitico]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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