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Ted Kennedy Has Lived For Hundreds Of Years


Well dagnabbit, this Ted Kennedy-cancer news is a whole lot of No Fun. Looks like they can't take the tumor out because it's too close to "sensitive" parts of the brain, and 14 to 15 months seems to be the average survival period. The tumor is worse -- more aggressive -- for old folks, too. Even old racist Robert Byrd cried on the Senate floor today. Bummer on all levels, for everyone. But we have searched YouTube for the latest Ted Kennedy tribute videos, and here's a new one that shows Teddy "through the years." The background tunage is mighty catchy. And we can say this because it's unrelated to his cancer: Ted Kennedy looked like such a preppy douchebag for most of his life. But he did shit for poor people so it all balances out. [YouTube]

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Should we even try to say anything about the week that just passed, or is it Saturday and we don't care right now? That, the second thing, it is that one. Instead, look at Wonkette Official Toddler Donna Rose, in pics above and below, giving some fierce LEWKS for the camera, because she is a very famous model.

And also we guess we will count down the top 10 posts of the week, like we do.

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HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

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