It's funny, with all themanymillions of items we have written about one Ted "The Nuge" Nugent, we were really only ever working from transcripts (and album covers) when we detailed how he constantly wants to rape Hillary Clinton with a machine gun, and et cetera. But until now we had never seen just how charming Ted Nugent gets, and into what kind of borderline-personality state he works himself. It is Mel Gibsonian in its fury and we would not go to his Costa Rica ranch for NOTHIN! Here he screams, spittle flying, while talking about all the dying children he goes fishing with, and he sort of half gets out of his seat to threaten a reporter who just sits there in his chair, very carefully not showing where he peed himself in terror. Yes, he is screaming about what a damn nice guy he is, before dropping "I'll SUCK YOUR FUCKING DICK" and then, looking over at a female producer, "Or fuck you, how's that sound?" Bad? It sounds bad? And like a violation of the Wonkette Commenting Rules for Radicals?

Here is your CBS video of Ted Nugent scaring the everlovin' piss out of us. According to the reporter, when the interview was over, The Nuge's wife (Jesus, can you imagine?) came in and said he needed to apologize to the lady producer for screaming at her that he would fuck her. And then he sort of did, and then later he claimed he'd had a kidney stone. Then they played it for the Romney campaign, and the Romney campaign was all "Fellows should be civil," the end. We are going to go take a bath now, with some soothing lavender oil probably, and then have a morning glass of syrah.

[CBS, via Towleroad]