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Ted Nugent Offers To Fellate Reporter And Rape Producer To Show That Ted Nugent Is A Damn Nice Guy

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It's funny, with all themany millions of items we have written about one Ted "The Nuge" Nugent, we were really only ever working from transcripts (and album covers) when we detailed how he constantly wants to rape Hillary Clinton with a machine gun, and et cetera. But until now we had never seen just how charming Ted Nugent gets, and into what kind of borderline-personality state he works himself. It is Mel Gibsonian in its fury and we would not go to his Costa Rica ranch for NOTHIN! Here he screams, spittle flying, while talking about all the dying children he goes fishing with, and he sort of half gets out of his seat to threaten a reporter who just sits there in his chair, very carefully not showing where he peed himself in terror. Yes, he is screaming about what a damn nice guy he is, before dropping "I'll SUCK YOUR FUCKING DICK" and then, looking over at a female producer, "Or fuck you, how's that sound?" Bad? It sounds bad? And like a violation of the Wonkette Commenting Rules for Radicals?


Here is your CBS video of Ted Nugent scaring the everlovin' piss out of us. According to the reporter, when the interview was over, The Nuge's wife (Jesus, can you imagine?) came in and said he needed to apologize to the lady producer for screaming at her that he would fuck her. And then he sort of did, and then later he claimed he'd had a kidney stone. Then they played it for the Romney campaign, and the Romney campaign was all "Fellows should be civil," the end. We are going to go take a bath now, with some soothing lavender oil probably, and then have a morning glass of syrah.

[CBS, via Towleroad]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Today we are having a Very Serious Conversation about how liberals are very uncivil and mean and terrible and vulgar, because a restaurant in Virginia very nicely asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders to GTFO, due to how she is an atrocious liar who works for a fascist. (The restaurant comped the cheese plates that had already been served.) Meanwhile the president is threatening 79-year-old black congresswomen on Twitter and ripping babies away from their parents and just generally being a fascist. BOTH SIDES DO IT, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, VERY SERIOUS PUNDITS?

Point is, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is doing her first White House press briefing in a week, assuming she doesn't wuss out like she always does. Will she lie? Will she cry? Will she be a sack of shit like she always is? Most importantly, has she managed to find a meal since she was kicked out of the Red Hen? We certainly hope she's managed to find a Chick-fil-A or something, as we wouldn't want Our Sarah to be forced to give a press briefing while hangry.

Let's liveblog and see what a foul asshole SHS feels like being today:

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Last week, Nicole Arteaga of Peoria, Arizona received the devastating news from her doctor that her baby's development had stopped and that pregnancy would end in a miscarriage. Given the option of either a D&C or prescription medication, she chose to go with the prescription. Then, like all normal people do when they get a prescription, she went to a pharmacy to have it filled.

Unfortunately for her, Brian Hrenuic -- the pharmacist at the Walgreens she went to -- refused to give her that prescription, because he opposed it on "moral grounds."

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