Ted Stevens' Seussian House Raided by FBI, IRS
As the longest-serving Republican Senator ever, Ted Stevens has obviously committed enough crime to make Dutch Schultz blush. He's less ostentatious than your Duke Cunninghams and less perverted than all those under-70 whippersnappers who keep fucking whores and little boys, though, so we never thought we'd see him go down in our lifetime. Which means it's a pleasant surprise to see the FBI and IRS raiding his huge ski resort home.
Stevens is under investigation for his ties to Veco, an Alaskan energy company whose founder had a nasty habit of bribing Alaskan state lawmakers (like Ted's son!). Back in 2000, Veco remodeled the very house that was raided yesterday!
Bill Allen, the bribe-happy Veco CEO, used to hand out hundred-dollar bills to Alaskan state legislators, and they "renovated" Stevens' home by putting it on stilts and building a second story under it. Alaska's crazy!
In return, Stevens, along with equally-corrupt Rep. Don Young, have sent Veco over $30 million in federal contracts since 2000.
Stevens, 83, has been in the Senate since 1968, but he'll still only be remembered for being the crazy old man who explained that the internet is not a truck.