Ten Commandments Removed From Oklahoma Capitol, Governor Would Kill To Get Them Back
At least now they can explain every tornado for the next ten years
The day after workers yanked the big ol' Ten Commandments Monument from the Oklahoma Capitol grounds and moved it to a conservative think tank, Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin called on the state legislature to pass an amendment to the state constitution to bring it back. Fallin made it clear that she would do anything for
love the monument, and she'd even do that. The state Supreme Court ordered in June that the monument violated the Oklahoma Constitution by expending state funds to support religion. Fallin had initially pledged to ignore the court order, but apparently someone explained to her what "Supreme" means.
The monument was moved in the middle of the night Monday, to reduce the likelihood of accidentally dropping the 6-foot tall mass of unconstitutionality on any protesters. It was installed outside the Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs, a think tank dedicated to "limited government, individual liberty and a free-market economy," located just a few blocks away from the Capitol. As of press time, there have been no reports of plagues of locusts, rains of frogs, or Miley Cyrus sightings in the Sooner State, so it would appear that Almighty God is not too displeased with the move. Tornadoes generally don't hit the state until spring, so the Legislature, which is out of session until February, will have a little time to attempt to ward off the perfectly normal severe weather phenomena by passing a measure to put the amendment before voters.
Visiting the monument at its new location, where it is no longer able to keep Oklahomans from sinning and remind them of the basic principles this nation was founded upon (if you ignore all the Greek and Enlightenment philosophy the Founders actually read), Fallin said,
Moving forward, I believe the people of Oklahoma should have the opportunity to vote on a proposed constitutional change to ensure that historical monuments like this one are not pushed out of public spaces ... I strongly encourage lawmakers to take up this issue in the next legislative session.
Once Oklahomans vote overwhelmingly to amend the state constitution -- because did you miss the location of this story? -- the monument will presumably be moved back to the Capitol, where another round of lawsuits can begin. The Oklahoma Supreme Court based its decision solely on the state constitution, and did not consider whether the monument violated the Establishment Clause of the U.S. Constitution. And then of course the First Amendment trolls at the Satanic Temple will sue to allow their awesome Baphomet statue to be added to the grounds, as a historical marker noting the undeniable influence of Satan in this great nation's history.
Congratulations, Oklahoma taxpayers! You'll be paying to defend this fool thing in court forever, but it's worth it, because Jesus wants you to have a rock outside your government buildings far more than He might want you to pay for schools or other fripperies.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.