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Terror Porn Fantasy Puts WALNUTS! McCain In the White House

Terror Porn! Everybody jack off with WALNUTS! - WonketteAmerica is addicted to pornography: Terror Pornography. From Kiefer's endless torture of the nuclear-armed Islamo-Nazis to NEVER FORGET billboards, illiterate snuff essays by unknown bloggers to, uhm, the Washingtonian, nothing thrills like the fantasy of Muslims blowing up some unloved yet well-known U.S. city architecture.


Join us after the jump for the terror fantasy that could make WALNUTS! our best-ever pretend maverick president for life, after the jump.

You can't really blame 9/11 for creating terror porn -- that over-the-top incident just exploited the American Dream of blowing shit up, especially libtard cities full of minorities and homosexuals. Here's a list of beloved pre-9/11 movies that were about nothing but foreigners blowing up our precious freedoms:

* Independence Day

* The Terminator

* Black Sunday

* Terminator 2: Judgment Day

* The Siege

* Die Hard I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII and VIII

* True Lies

* Deep Impact

* Armageddon

* Repo Man

* Anything based on a Tom Clancy book

So it's no surprise how much Hollywood scriptwriter hopefuls (journalists) love the terror porn. For the Politico.com's Roger Simon, it's the only way the deranged senile dingbat John WALNUTS! McCain could ever become president against the Edwards/Obama ticket (riiiight):

The trouble was that Edwards and Obama were photogenic, articulate, passionate, vigorous, and young. And it was more than that: The nation was tired of old wars and scared of new ones. Edwards, aside from championing universal healthcare, increased taxes on the rich, and other Democratic oldies-but-goodies, was vigorously antiwar. Edwards's biggest applause line was the one he tried out on the day he announced and had used in every speech since: "It's time for us to ask Americans to be patriotic about something other than war."

Going into October, the race was tied. And then came the day that once was known as Halloween and forever afterward was called 10/31.
What follows is the most boring "terror attack" ever: Some damage to the St. Louis Arch. Nobody is hurt save for one of the world's worst terrorists, who is shot by a heavily armed jewelry salesman who drives around the arch all the time because it's so pretty.

Okay, so that takes up like 15 paragraphs, and then it goes to the next improbable yet dull scenario:

The public was told nothing about who the terrorists were except that, to the dismay of the Minutemen guarding the Mexican border, they had entered the United States from Canada.

Two days after 10/31, as it was now universally called, House speaker Nancy Pelosi went on Meet the Press and told Tim Russert that she intended to launch a congressional investigation into this "October surprise" and find out whether the Bush administration was complicit in the attack in an attempt to boost the chances of John McCain.

When John Edwards and Barack Obama heard that, they emitted their own low, ghostly tone.

McCain carried every state George W. Bush had carried in 2004 plus California, Minnesota, and New Hampshire.
Is it even remotely possible that it would take two days for everybody to blame Bush/Cheney for the next terror attack? Anyway, and then WALNUTS! was in the White House and put everybody in DHS prison camps and did experiments on mulatto babies and blew up Vietnam and we all lived miserably ever after until China put us out of our misery in 2012 by shooting all the satellites out of orbit, which attracted the Dogon from the Sirius star system, and they went through the Stargate portal and blew up the Earth. The End.

The Making of the President: John McCain [Washingtonian]

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