Texas Debate Wrap-Up: We Cannot Live On Chicken And Beer Alone

Here is your iconic photoOne million hours ago, a debate happened in Austin, Texas, and we learned many things in between beers. We learned from a photo editor for a very well-regarded publication why Hillary Clinton's pictures are often unflattering. We learned how much a beer costs at the Texas Democratic Party Debate Watch, and two possible VP favorites for Obama. But mostly we learned that no matter what happens, this country will be fine and have sad but hot breakup sex once a nominee is determined. Highlights and predictions, after the jump!

Why Hillary looks so bad: During the debate, our neighbor to the left was this photo editor gal who, early in the evening, looked at picture of Chelsea Clinton embracing a middle-aged woman and said, "Who's that?" and we said, "Maybe that labor leader from LA?" and later on she admitted that she was asking about Chelsea Clinton. Anyhow, she says that digital cameras are just unkind to pale skin such as Hillary Clinton's. She showed us a shot of Hillary and Obama on the stage. "See how she's all blurry and he's very sharp?" she said. "It's just unfortunate."

The cost of a beer at the Debate Watch party: This was an event several miles south of the actual debate, in which members of the public could pay $50 to stand around a ballroom and maybe see some bigwigs. But then at the end of the night both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama showed up as promised, so it was worth it! Anyhow, wine was $7, beer was $5, water was $3, and we hope there are free drinks at the Convention.

VP favorites: Handsome local congressman Mark Strama was given the thankless task of vamping while Barack Obama took a hundred million years to show up at the Debate Watch party. People were shouting "Obama!" like if they only did it loudly enough they would summon him. This is part of why he is referred to as a "rock star." He has brought so many young people out whose only experience of a large public gathering is a concert that they chant his name to make him appear, and when he leaves they continue to applaud wildly like he's going to come back for an encore. Anyhow, Strama said he should be Obama's VP so that they could run on the Obama/Strama ticket, although an Obama/Will Wynn ticket (he is Austin's mayor) had a certain obvious appeal as well.

And he is a rock star: We were too late for Hillary Clinton's appearance, although we did hear some thunderous applause and shouting as she wrapped up her speech while we were signing in. So maybe the atmosphere was ELECTRIC while she was in the room and we just didn't know it. However, when Obama came in it almost felt like people were going to rush the stage. Our crack secret deputy photographer "Dan," whose work is pictured above, remarked that Obama has a sort of magical sparkly glowiness that one doesn't normally see around politicians. For example, Mark Penn? Looks pretty much the same in person as he does on TV, which is to say, awful. Obama is different. As for his speech, it was the same usual boilerplate, but he said two things that rang interestingly: first, that 90 percent of his financing comes from donations of $100 or less. We knew that he had run his campaign through digging in the figurative couch cushions of the donation base, but that is ridiculous. Second, he said he wanted to pursue a foreign policy "that reflects our decency and generosity," which just sounded pleasant to this jaded English major's ears, but maybe it was the two beers consumed in the 15 minutes before his speech.


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