She seems nice

If you'd like a vision of the Constitutional Paradise espoused by militia loons and rightwing super patriots like Richard Mack, founder of the "Constitutional Sheriffs and Peace Officers Association" (CSPOA), which insists that county sheriffs are the highest law enforcement authorities allowed by their Very Special Version of the Constitution, take a look at this extensive Texas Observer report on one such sheriff. Pamela Elliott was elected sheriff of Edwards County, Texas, in 2012, and quickly set to enforcing the Constitution as she understands it -- hanging out with a local militia group, monitoring local Democratic party meetings, intimidating political enemies, and making clear to school board members that they'd better vote out the current school superintendent. In 2014, during the Bundy Militia Jamboree in Nevada, Sheriff Elliott and the leader of the Edwards County Militia jointly "put out a standby order for volunteers" to head to Nevada to support the Bundoids if it came to a shootin' war against the feds.

In other words, she's creatin' a true law 'n' order paradise where the people with the guns and the badges -- or at least the guns -- get to make the rules, exactly as the Founders wanted it. In August 2014, Elliott sent virtually the entire Edwards County Sheriffs' Department -- about thirty in all, plus a mob of local supporters of Elliott -- to surround a meeting of the county Democratic Party's executive committee in a private home. Elliott even attempted to force her way into the meeting to keep an eye on things, since she claimed the Texas attorney general had told her the private party meeting was subject to Texas's Open Meetings Act.

Rachel Gallegos, the former mayor of Rocksprings, told reporter Alex Hannaford,

"[Elliott] held her boot in the door and I told her to have him call me — that if he said she could be there I’d let her in,” Gallegos says. “And nobody ever called me, of course.”

Caroline Ramirez, who dropped her husband off at the meeting, described the crowd outside as an “angry mob.” Later, she would state in a written complaint submitted to the attorney general, the secretary of state and the district attorney that she “was shocked that [Elliott] was in uniform but wasn’t doing anything to control the crowd, keep the peace, or protect them or us. She seemed to be encouraging the mob. I wanted to call someone, but I had no idea who I should call if the head of our law enforcement is part of the problem.”

In a separate complaint to state officials, Ms. Gallegos wrote, “I can no longer assume that our Sheriff and her department will act as Peace Officers. I need some guidance as to how to protect myself.” But at least after a month, she heard back from an attorney in the state A.G.'s office, who advised her that no, a meeting of a party's local executive committee isn't covered by the Open Meetings Act. Turns out that's one of those freedom of association things. But that wasn't the real point, anyway, suspects Gallegos: she believes Elliott brought out the sheriffs' deputies and patrol cars in force to influence the vote in an upcoming judicial election. The Democratic candidate, Ricky Martinez, was expected to win, but the Republican, Souli Shanklin, was allied with Elliott, so why not make good use of local law enforcement to send a message?

Gallegos says law enforcement outside her house could have influenced the vote by making people in town think the Democrats were up to no good, or even doing something illegal. Martinez ended up losing, with 46 percent of the vote.

And then there's Elliott's war with School Superintendent David Velky, who angered her by not accepting her generous offer to ensure the school was in touch with juvenile corrections authorities. Velky says Elliott took "an intense disliking to me," and said that she recently flagged down two members of the school board while driving through town and informed them, while in uniform, that they really needed to vote against renewing Velky's contract. “I try not to be a conspiracy theorist, but I concluded this person either has some innate dislike for me or mistrust,” Velky said.

Jeeze, so paranoid. Why is he so worried about a local citizen expressing her opinion on how to improve the schools, simply because she has a patrol car, a badge, and a gun? Velky also said he felt intimidated by the presence of the militia leader in the audience at a school board meeting:

“I believe the plan is to get rid of me and certain board members in order to take control of the school. I think they want control over the hiring of the teachers and staff members. I think they want to be able to bypass the procedural safeguards of the law — to arrest people without the grand jury; to bring charges without consulting the district attorney; to decide who is on the grand jury.”

Pfft. All because of a little bit of very assertive participation in educational affairs?

Here's how paranoid those silly Democrats in Edwards County are: a group of them met Hannaford in what they described as a "safe house, and several would only speak to him anonymously, out of fear that Elliott and her supporters would come after them. That seems pretty nutty, and what are they hiding anyway?

During the 2014 elections, Elliott deployed deputies to stand in polling places and look very carefully at all the Latinos who were voting, but that was only to ensure the security of the vote, probably. And once the county clerk called the sheriff and asked her to withdraw the deputies -- at around 3 PM, after voting had been going on all day -- she did. What's the big deal? Again, listen to that paranoid Rachel Gallegos and her wacky take on the sheriff's effort to keep the polls safe from -- well, she never said what, but maybe an ISIS attack, why not?

Gallegos says she spoke to elderly Hispanic friends who didn’t vote because they were scared off. “They just said ‘Oh, they’ll come after me; they’ll go after my children, my grandchildren, it’ll just cause trouble,’” Gallegos says. “The elderly are easily intimidated.”

Romana Bienek, the city secretary who was working at City Hall on the day of the 2014 midterm election, corroborates Gallegos’ account [...]

“When I called the sheriff’s office and spoke to the sheriff herself … she said it was really none of [my] business. She told me to write down the people’s names and phone numbers and that she’d talk to them. I said ‘Fine,’ and that was it.”

The local Republican party chair insisted there was no voter intimidation at all, and that the deputies were only there to protect the poll workers, since sometimes the volunteers are there until late at night. So we guess it only makes sense to have an armed deputy standing around all day scrutinizing everyone.

There's a whole lot more in the Observer's story -- go give it a read. And just imagine what a wonderful place YOUR community could be with a strong Constitutional Sheriff to keep order.

[Texas Observer via RawStory]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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