Hey! Super Bowl 666 (sorry - Super Bowl DCLXVI) is just days away. Which group of plus-sized men wearing leggings and suffering from multiple concussions/severe dementia will win? And will there be a multitude of funny beer commercials, for Rancid Piss Lite, et cetera, for all the miserable people watching on their HD wide-screens at home? And will U2 play the bongos on Janet Jackson's exposed nipples, during the MTV "halftime show"? And will lots of peeling middle-aged men eat buckets of chicken-fried Crisco and have sex with child sex slaves? This is America, so obviously "yes."

The New York Times sent a crackerjack reporter down to Arlington, Texas -- the host city for this year's entertainment orgy -- to investigate the food scene, so that people will know where to go for the best heart disease in town. (This same newspaper also sent their best reporter to Iraq in 2003, to find out if there were Weapons of Mass Destruction. Haha, just kidding.) But did you know that there's also a lot of sex trafficking that takes place before, during and after America's favorite sports spectacle?

As thousands of football fans descend on Texas for Sunday's Super Bowl, law enforcement agencies are keeping watch for a different kind of out-of-town visitor: pimps selling children for sex.

...

Pimps hawking young girls see the thousands of men who travel to the Super Bowl each year as a gold mine of potential clients. Police in and around host cities have tried for years to crack down on prostitution by conducting stings or increasing patrols during Super Bowl week. Only in recent years have underage girls come to light in increasing numbers.

Southern Lard and sex trafficking. These are the two things that keep America shinning so bright. Oh, and also "football." [Seattle Times/NYT]