That's Right, MAGA Idiots, Time To Eat Mitch McConnell's Face!
DEMS IN DISARRAY AGAIN, because we are laughing watching Republicans' faces get eaten to shreds by the monsters they created. Everybody say it together: Ha ha!
Anyway they are mad now because Mitch McConnell said a swear. You see, after the Electoral College voted and officially made Joe Biden and Kamala Harris the president-elect and vice president-elect, McConnell reluctantly said out loud that Biden and Harris were the president-elect and vice president-elect. That is not OK! Later yesterday, McConnell told Republican senators on a call to please not challenge the electoral votes on Jan. 6. Double not OK!
And now Mitch McConnell doesn't have a face anymore, because the monsters are eating it. Starting with Donald Trump, who tweeted this last night:
Trump's allies slam Mitch McConnell for congratulating Biden https://t.co/ak9nu6420L via @MailOnline. Mitch, 75,000… https://t.co/YG26uYlk9M— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1608097241.0
McConnell reportedly called the White House yesterday to give them a heads up that he was going to acknowledge reality on the Senate floor, and was going to call the mean man from the basement the "president-elect." Presumably this was so White House staff could fill the bunker with binkies for when Trump ran down there for his meltdown. But, like a goldfish whose brain is even worse than a normal goldfish because of all the goldfish syphilis, Trump apparently forgot the heads up already, and has taken to Twitter to whine.
The article he tweeted, from the Daily Mail, featured more Republican MAGA idiots eating Mitch McConnell's face, like incoming QAnon bonkershits Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene from Georgia, who knows exactly who McConnell is working for:
Every “Republican” that isn’t fighting for @realDonaldTrump’s 2020 landslide victory is supporting the Chinese Comm… https://t.co/cTOnc2r3XB— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸) 1608061148.0
OK, Qaren. (See what we did there?)
Batshit MAGA lawyer Lin Wood, fresh off having his call to jail Georgia GOP Gov. Brian Kemp and GOP Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger jailed retweeted by the president, also explained that McConnell is "not a patriot" and "a traitor" and "ask his wife":
Mitch McConnell @senatemajldr is NOT a Patriot. Ask his wife. She knows. McConnell just wants power, influence, &… https://t.co/cdBBa62j5O— Lin Wood (@Lin Wood) 1608056950.0
The Kraken is mad, so mad:
So @senatemajldr decided to aid and abet the biggest criminal fraud and coup in history?! @realDonaldTrump… https://t.co/ywpbFxuhGg— Sidney Powell 🇺🇸⭐⭐⭐ (@Sidney Powell 🇺🇸⭐⭐⭐) 1608126414.0
Actual criminal Michael Flynn, who as DC District Court Judge Emmet Sullivan memorably said "arguably sold [his] country out" when he started whispering promises to the Russian government behind the then-current presidential administration's back and then lied about it, would like to add his voice and say that Marjorie Taylor Greene is right to call McConnell a Chinese communist, because she "gets it":
Now here’s a Georgian who gets it & is demonstrating courage unlike many other Republicans. @LLinWood… https://t.co/jo7CIuQiUO— General Flynn (@General Flynn) 1608076019.0
Neat. We hope whoever Joe Biden picks as his attorney general is really reading up on "What Is the Constitutional Definition of Sedition?"
While we're on the subject of small men, here's "Dr." Sebastian Gorka, Trump Nazi, which would be a really bad title for a Netflix show, now that we think of it.
.@Senatemajldr caves to the mob, refuses to wait for the final January 6th #ElectoralCollege count. Why? Guests:… https://t.co/jKbXQWQeQ6— Sebastian Gorka DrG (@Sebastian Gorka DrG) 1608061694.0
Untethered wingnut radio host Mark Levin had thoughts. They were hysterical meltdown thoughts:
2. Trump helped you secure your seat, as he did so man Senate and House seats, and you couldn't even wait until Jan… https://t.co/zxhooCw27f— Mark R. Levin (@Mark R. Levin) 1608051757.0
By the way, can we share a point of personal grievance, and it is that is really time-consuming to find all these idiots' tweets, because of how they all tweet and retweet five million times a day in their mutual masturbation chamber, and with SO MANY EMOJIS? Anyway.
When Nicholas Sandmann, the obnoxious Covington Catholic brat who is from Kentucky, tweeted that McConnell is a "great American," child Nazi Nick Fuentes, one of the five young conserva-douche white guy MAGA personalities who isn't The Unfuckable Charlie Kirk -- nobody's watching that Netflix show either -- was like MAN, Nicholas Sandmann, why don't you GET IT:
How can you be a Gen Z white guy and look at everything happening around you (especially Nick Sandmann) and still not get it?— Nicholas J. Fuentes (@Nicholas J. Fuentes) 1608060310.0
Speaking of Charlie Kirk, whose face looks like what happens to your computer screen when you accidentally hit a button and all of a sudden everything is too small to see, he has thoughts too:
If Senate Republicans want to lose the Georgia races and their majority, conceding the presidential election to Joe… https://t.co/kXQprzyPi6— Charlie Kirk (@Charlie Kirk) 1608055665.0
Poor Moscow Mitch.
We'd feel sorry for him if we weren't rooting against both sides here.
[many tweets via Joe.My.God]
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!
GIVE IT WONKETTE. We mean money. Thank you.