Thus spake a tipster:

My grandmother used to work at a very high end (since closed) children's clothing store in the Cherry Creek area of Denver back in the 80's and 90's. She once told me a story about waiting on Sharon Bush. Apparently Sharon came in shortly after the birth of one of her children (not sure if it was Pierce, Lauren or Ashley) and purchased a very expensive christening outfit, only to return it several days later and demand a full refund. Of course a few days later, the style section of one of the local dailies ran a picture of the entire Bush family at said child's christening, and lo and behold, the baby was wearing the returned outfit. Go figure, "American Royalty" acting like a part-time secretary after that big Friday night date.

The thing is, we've all been there. Why, many years back, we once performed in a play in Adams Morgan where our expensive-looking set was obtained part and parcel through an office-supply store whose laissez-faire thirty-day return policy we took full advantage of. Of course, a big difference between our circumstance and the Bushes was that we were dirt poor.

Also, we didn't...you know...lie to God.