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The Camera Takes Off Fifty Pounds

russertspotatohead.JPGWhite Christian male media elites sure do love that beisbol. Too bad their sporty clothes don't like them as James Carville's skinny ass can make a t-shirt look like a poncho, and Tim Russert needs at least an hour in the make-up chair before he stops scaring small children. Oldest fart of them all Mort Kondracke was at the game too. So, you get those plus a couple of minor movie stars and one major, uh, general. Oh, and Jessica Cutler is bankrupt.


Unless you only want to read publicist written "sightings," you're gonna have to send emails with real sightings. It's easy, just type "Wonk'd" or "Sighting" in the subject line and the name of the cable news hero you saw. Then make up something mean about them. It's fun, really, we do it all the time.

* Finally got some good Nats tickets last Tuesday [5/29] and found myself seated mere feet from James Carville, super skinny and looking like he just bic'd his dome in khakis and a red t-shirt, and Tim Russert, with his giant head and matching gut. Mort Kondracke was there too, with his wife and still in a suit. Not sitting with James and Tim.

* Saw Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway [5/25] on 3rd and E. Capitol SE. Looked like they were shooting the same scene over and over.

* Saw three-star Gen. Keith Dayton walking up 23rd street outside the Foggy Bottom metro yesterday [5/31] around 2pm, in full uniform. Not often you see a three-star walking down the street, and when I glanced at his name tag I knew I recognized the name from somewhere. Dayton is the U.S. Security Coordinator based in Israel (he was testifying on the Hill this week), but previously he was the military-side leader on the WMD hunt with David Kay in Iraq. He seemed to be going into the metro, which seems odd for a three-star in uniform (I've never seen anything higher than a bird-colonel on metro). I wonder if he also takes the buses in Israel.

* Bankrupt blogger Jessica Cutler is in the Waldorf-Astoria lobby, using her laptop and giggling on her cell phone. Wearing a really short blue dress and drinking Fiji.

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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