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Sometimes, but not often, we wonder if we are being too harsh when we say people like Sean Hannity and Devin Nunes and other various and sundry conservatives (and whatever Glenn Greenwald is) seem to be literally working for Russia and against the United States. And then something always happens to remind us that, as usual, we are right on target. This is one of those times.


The Daily Caller, Tucker Carlson's fashion blog for racists and racist soft-core porn enthusiasts, has a new blogger, and his name is Oleg Deripaska. Yes, THAT Oleg Deripaska, the guy known as Vladimir Putin's FAVORITE oligarch. (He's pictured above, with his pal!) The same Oleg Deripaska that double ankle bracelet boy Paul Manafort used to work for (in order to "benefit" Putin) and from whom Manafort reportedly laundered/stole MILLIONS of dollars. The same dude Paul Manafort promised sexxxy briefings about the American election, in exchange for OH WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.

Also, this is the same Oleg Deripaska whose former girlfriend/sex worker pal Anastasia Veshukevich AKA Nastya Rybka is currently sitting in a Thai prison saying she has hours of recordings taken on Deripaska's yacht that prove a conspiracy to interfere in the US election, to benefit Donald Trump. She says she heard Deripaska discussing "a plan for the 2016 election." Is she credible? Dunno!

But regardless, don't you just want to read Oleg Deripaska's Tumblr and believe every word he says? The Daily Caller does!

Oh. My. God.

Hey, do y'all remember the Olden Timey Days of Prehistoric Times when Republicans, despite their many faults, were pretty good at understanding the threat of Russia and Democrats were the ones playing catch-up? (That was us, laughing at Mitt Romney and his "Russia geopolitical enemy" talk till our faces fell off our heads!) Our ancestors from 2012 would be shocked to see how the script has changed.

Shall we look at like three of Deripaska's words, thump them in the dick, and be done with this? Let's:

The ever-changing “Russia narrative” in American politics is today’s “Wag the Dog” scenario.

The narrative hasn't changed. Putin-fellating hacks like Glenn Greenwald say that, but it isn't true. Russia fucked with the election to sow chaos and also help Trump, and Trump and his people most likely helped. That case has only gotten stronger, especially as Robert Mueller's investigation progresses.

Next!

What has been inelegantly termed the “Deep State” is really this: shadow power exercised by a small number of individuals from media, business, government and the intelligence community ...

Oh hey, Alex Jones and Roger Stone! Didn't know you were invited to this sausage party! DEEP STATE! DEEP STATE!

The wife of a central architect of the Department of Justice’s “Russia narrative” secretly worked for the dossier-peddling Fusion GPS. [...]

... [O]n March 16, 2017, Daniel Jones — himself a team member of Fusion GPS, self-described former FBI agent and, as we now know from the media, an ex-Feinstein staffer — met with my lawyer, Adam Waldman, and described Fusion as a “shadow media organization helping the government,” funded by a “group of Silicon Valley billionaires and George Soros.”

OH HEY, Sean Hannity and every other Fox News conspiracy theory ever! Golly, this op-ed is getting crowded!

My lawyer testified these facts to the Senate Intelligence Committee on Nov. 3. Mr. Soros is, not coincidentally, also the funder of two “ethics watchdog” NGOs (Democracy 21 and CREW) attacking Rep. [Devin] Nunes’ committee memo.

OH HEY, DEVIN WITH THE DUMB MEMO! Didn't know you had time to ghost-write op-eds for Russian oligarchs in your spare time! We figured you were pretty busy romancing cows in your off time, but we guess we were wrong about that.

Are you fucking shitting us right now, Daily Caller?

Because really, this shit sounds exactly like it was written by Devin Nunes and Alex Jones and Roger Stone and Sean Hannity naked in a hot tub together. With Glenn Greenwald. And Katrina Vanden Heuvel and her weird-ass husband. All naked.

And we guess Oleg Deripaska was there too.

Dunno why but this image just came into our brain:

Golly gee, are we on the wrong side of this fight? Should we be in the hot tub with Oleg Deripaska and Vladimir Putin and all the rest of their mouthpieces in the Republican party and in the really weird stinky idiot parts of Liberal Land? Or should we just stay over here on the patriotic American side?

It's just so hard to decide!

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[Daily Caller]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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