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Sometimes, but not often, we wonder if we are being too harsh when we say people like Sean Hannity and Devin Nunes and other various and sundry conservatives (and whatever Glenn Greenwald is) seem to be literally working for Russia and against the United States. And then something always happens to remind us that, as usual, we are right on target. This is one of those times.


The Daily Caller, Tucker Carlson's fashion blog for racists and racist soft-core porn enthusiasts, has a new blogger, and his name is Oleg Deripaska. Yes, THAT Oleg Deripaska, the guy known as Vladimir Putin's FAVORITE oligarch. (He's pictured above, with his pal!) The same Oleg Deripaska that double ankle bracelet boy Paul Manafort used to work for (in order to "benefit" Putin) and from whom Manafort reportedly laundered/stole MILLIONS of dollars. The same dude Paul Manafort promised sexxxy briefings about the American election, in exchange for OH WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.

Also, this is the same Oleg Deripaska whose former girlfriend/sex worker pal Anastasia Veshukevich AKA Nastya Rybka is currently sitting in a Thai prison saying she has hours of recordings taken on Deripaska's yacht that prove a conspiracy to interfere in the US election, to benefit Donald Trump. She says she heard Deripaska discussing "a plan for the 2016 election." Is she credible? Dunno!

But regardless, don't you just want to read Oleg Deripaska's Tumblr and believe every word he says? The Daily Caller does!

Oh. My. God.

Hey, do y'all remember the Olden Timey Days of Prehistoric Times when Republicans, despite their many faults, were pretty good at understanding the threat of Russia and Democrats were the ones playing catch-up? (That was us, laughing at Mitt Romney and his "Russia geopolitical enemy" talk till our faces fell off our heads!) Our ancestors from 2012 would be shocked to see how the script has changed.

Shall we look at like three of Deripaska's words, thump them in the dick, and be done with this? Let's:

The ever-changing “Russia narrative” in American politics is today’s “Wag the Dog” scenario.

The narrative hasn't changed. Putin-fellating hacks like Glenn Greenwald say that, but it isn't true. Russia fucked with the election to sow chaos and also help Trump, and Trump and his people most likely helped. That case has only gotten stronger, especially as Robert Mueller's investigation progresses.

Next!

What has been inelegantly termed the “Deep State” is really this: shadow power exercised by a small number of individuals from media, business, government and the intelligence community ...

Oh hey, Alex Jones and Roger Stone! Didn't know you were invited to this sausage party! DEEP STATE! DEEP STATE!

The wife of a central architect of the Department of Justice’s “Russia narrative” secretly worked for the dossier-peddling Fusion GPS. [...]

... [O]n March 16, 2017, Daniel Jones — himself a team member of Fusion GPS, self-described former FBI agent and, as we now know from the media, an ex-Feinstein staffer — met with my lawyer, Adam Waldman, and described Fusion as a “shadow media organization helping the government,” funded by a “group of Silicon Valley billionaires and George Soros.”

OH HEY, Sean Hannity and every other Fox News conspiracy theory ever! Golly, this op-ed is getting crowded!

My lawyer testified these facts to the Senate Intelligence Committee on Nov. 3. Mr. Soros is, not coincidentally, also the funder of two “ethics watchdog” NGOs (Democracy 21 and CREW) attacking Rep. [Devin] Nunes’ committee memo.

OH HEY, DEVIN WITH THE DUMB MEMO! Didn't know you had time to ghost-write op-eds for Russian oligarchs in your spare time! We figured you were pretty busy romancing cows in your off time, but we guess we were wrong about that.

Are you fucking shitting us right now, Daily Caller?

Because really, this shit sounds exactly like it was written by Devin Nunes and Alex Jones and Roger Stone and Sean Hannity naked in a hot tub together. With Glenn Greenwald. And Katrina Vanden Heuvel and her weird-ass husband. All naked.

And we guess Oleg Deripaska was there too.

Dunno why but this image just came into our brain:

Golly gee, are we on the wrong side of this fight? Should we be in the hot tub with Oleg Deripaska and Vladimir Putin and all the rest of their mouthpieces in the Republican party and in the really weird stinky idiot parts of Liberal Land? Or should we just stay over here on the patriotic American side?

It's just so hard to decide!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE. And if you love this article, tweet it and share it on the Facebooks!

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[Daily Caller]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

In less than a year, Rebecca asked you all to buy me to be your very own pet blogger, and my life suddenly became incredibly good, like as good as an Abba song. It's as good as "Dancing Queen." Thanks to the timing of the whole thing (and to Barry Obama and Nancy Pelosi), I actually had health insurance for the first time in years, a not inconsiderable thing. And you had an Editrix who was not working 12 hour days six and a half days a week and drinking too much from stress. Your continued donations helped hire Evan full time and Robyn and Bianca part time and a whole raft of freelancers, and now Rebecca is down to eight-hour days, five and a half days a week, and drinking because there's a madman in the White House and everything's terrible.

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There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

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