StewBeef and the Finger of TruthHere's a nifty Daily Show sketch for colleges to file away for new student orientations: following several notorious cases of sexual assault on campus, Jordan Klepper and Jessica Williams offer tips for smart partying -- for bros, reminders to not embarrass yourself, and for the ladies, reminders that the bros may very well rape you. Jon Stewart introduces the bit with the story of a case at James Madison University, in which three frat dudes assaulted a woman and videotaped it. Their punishment was to be "expelled upon graduation," which to Stewart sounded an awful lot like what you might call "graduation." But they're also banned from campus, so that's serious at least: "no alumni tailgating, no reunions, no bringing your kids back to show them where you abused girls.”

The Klepper and Williams sketch is a pointed exercise in contrasts. For the guys, Klepper offers “Party Commandment No. 1: Beer before liquor, never been sicker.” And the Williams, for the gals: "Never lose sight of your drink, ever. Don’t be a doofy, watch out for a roofie."


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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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