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The EvacuationGate Debate Continues

Reporting on today's mass hysteria at the Capitol has done little to clarify whether Hill denizens behaved like bored middle school students during a fire drill (Fox's contention) or if they ran away like little girls scared of some huge symbolic penis (what heard at first).


One Wonkette operative reports that "the goddamn cops on the 2nd floor of the cannon building were basically yelling at us to run out of the building.... i tried walking, which just got me yelled at even more."

A second operative writes that others were also above the whole "running" thing:

About 5 minutes before the all clear was signaled, Brownback and his staff started walking back.  A police officer tried to stop him, but Brownback blew him off with 'don't bother me' type of hand wave and continued on.
We think our operative my be confusing the "don't bother me" type hand wave with the "Fuck it, I know I'm going to heaven" one. Either way: very smooth.

UPDATE here.

Two in Custody After Capitol Plane Scare [AP/Yahoo]

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Blanket Disclaimer: Spitting on anybody is dead wrong. Even if it's a Trump.

Still, Eric Trump got to eat a tiny slice of the shit pie women, minorities, poors, disabled, and all of the other people who are deemed "takers" or who come from "shithole countries" experience at some point in their lives: He got spit on. By a woman, according to Breitbart (no link), because we are evil. Woe unto the wealthy white man! Wealthy white men are some of the most abused and marginalized people in the Universe, according to wealthy white men, and Eric Trump is no exception. Please cry for wealthy white men, ok you can stop now. Another group of Americans that are constantly abused, marginalized, and even denied their rights by the very same type of wealthy men that spawn such men as Eric Trump, are called "women." And apparently we are mean as fuck now.

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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