The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Moves Lips About Abortion, Lies Ensue. Surprise!

Usually, Yr Wonket has some discretion regarding which Palin-flavored entrees we will shove down your throats each weekend on the Fartknocker Report. Unfortunately, this was one of those weeks when the Tundra Grifter couldn't be bothered to do more than onetake for a single two-minute-long video. So open wide, we guess, because here comes Sarah to misrepresent some facts about the House's recent abortion bill.

On the anniversary of Roe v. Wade [...] Republican Congressmen on Capitol Hill sold out the pro-life movement by dropping the planned debate of a bill that would limit late-term abortions except in the cases of rape.

[...] Why did the GOP cave on this? Well, apparently they're afraid of being labeled anti-woman or offending the liberal media who might write bad things about them. Aw, boo hoo!

This is just spectacularly wrong. It is wrong in a way that should be treasured, not mocked. We should adore this beautiful, shining example of wrongness, because millions of years from now, long after our cities have burned and the skies have dimmed on the planets orbiting this dying star, alien archaeologists will recover a copy of Sarah Palin's video, and they will look upon it as our civilization's most glorious creation.

The House's GOP leadership yanked the abortion bill because Republican women said they couldn't support it.

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Here's "Congressman" Renee Ellmers (R-Woman) explaining why she and "Congressman" Jackie Walorski (R-Also a Woman) refused to vote for the bill.

"The issue becomes, we're questioning the woman's word," Rep. Renee Ellmers, R-N.C., said earlier Wednesday. "We have to be compassionate to women when they're in a crisis situation."

Astute political observers will note that Sarah Palin endorsed both Ellmers and Walorski in 2010. Astute Fartknocker observers will note that Palin has evinced a new -- and previously thought to be unthinkable -- level of disdain for her subscribers. She published exactly 144 seconds of video this week, and she couldn't even be bothered to read the WaPo write-up explaining the bait-and-switch Boehner and the GOP pulled on the precious snowflake babby crowd.

We have been subjecting ourselves to the Sarah Palin Channel for several months now, and we confess that we have no idea how her content calendar works. There's absolutely no rhyme or reason to how much content goes out the door over a given period of time, no consistency to the writing or the production, no overarching messages to be found save for the never-ending list of imagined grievances that animates the Tea Party right.

Palin has plumbed the depths of her subscribers' patience, and she has found no bottom. She has to be making a fortune off this thing.

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, presented by Fartknocker, was brought to you by Fartknocker.

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