The Following Congressmen Will All Be in Jail By the End of the Term

Today's Politico features a list of congress members currently under investigation for various complicated crimes. In order to help you understand how much trouble these members may be in, we've summarized the key facts about each of their cases, after the jump.

William Jefferson

Crimes: Improper storage of bribe money, legislating while black.

John Doolitte

Crimes: Family received tens of thousands of dollars from disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Also, despite ability to talk to the animals, failed to act to prevent looming pet food crisis.

Rick Renzi

Crimes: "Paid for helping to arrange a federal land swap," possibly responsible for the mysterious deaths of beloved Wizard of Id creators Johnny Hart and Brant Parker.

Jerry Lewis

Crimes: Which Way to the Front?, Cracking Up

Gary G. Miller

Crimes: Actually Tom DeLay in a cunning disguise.

Alan B. Mollohan

Crimes: Violated Ape Law, went to Forbidden Zone

Honorable Mention: Rep. Ken Calvert

Crimes: Just looks like he's up to something...

Cryptometer: Scandal Edition [Politico]


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