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The Inevitable 'Who Wore It Best?' Michelle Obama vs. Ann Romney Smackdown

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Before going into too much detail, the answer is Michelle Obama. Always. Unless of course the question is, "Who ate the rest of my french fries?" (The answer to that question used to be The Snowbilly, but now who knows?!) If you watchedlast night's debate long enough to see the spouses emerge from the dark tunnels under America's "undecided" voters, you may have noticed that OMG LADIES WEARING THE SAME COLOR OUTFIT!!! This is what happens when you are trapped in Mitt Romney's lady-binders, we guess? Or it was a dumb breast cancer thing. (Women's vote! Ladies just love their pink ribbons and October breast cancer-themed Lifetime movie marathons.) Let us explore!


After Barry O. and Mittens wrapped up their debate/staring contest last night, their wives appeared, both in hot pink.

Hot pink, or Schiaparelli pink as you fashion hounds might call it, was apparently the color of the night.

For her hubby's big night, Michelle was wearing a hot pink dress with a coordinating jacket. (We're thinking it might be Preen, like FLOTUS' last debate outfit, but we're just spitballing here.) It wasn't too surprising to see Mrs O. in pink -- the color worked wonders for her at the Democratic Nation Convention and she's sported the plenty of times before.

But Ann must have also had the same idea, wearing a short-sleeve dress in a nearly identical shade of Pepto pink. Ann's textured dress was a new one for her, by far the brightest thing we've ever seen her in (save for that bird shirt). She upped the vibrancy with an aqua statement necklace, plus a blush-colored brocade jacket seen before the debate began.

Hey there, librul media bias! Of course Michelle is in "hot" pink and Egg gets the Pepto Bismol comparison. Accurate, but still. Of course, this is the least of Egg's worries:

Also an unfortunate feature of Ann's outfit: visible panty lines. Several Twitter followers suggested she get a pair of Spanx for next week's debate...

Aaaaaaaand we have a winner. Automatic FLOTUS win due to VPL. [HuffPo]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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