The Internet's Most Repulsive Men Are Throwing A 'Make Women Great Again' Convention And Oh My God It's So SAD
Coming this May, to a convention center of some kind in Orlando, Florida, the most repulsive and least self-aware men on the entire internet will come together to finally teach women a lesson.
A lesson in how to be the women of their dreams.
Yes! For the low, low price of $1,999 a ticket ($999 a ticket and a plus one if you act now!), you can learn all of the secrets to reeling in the kind of man who sits on YouTube all day whining about how women aren't all barefoot and pregnant anymore. Men like Stefan Molyneux, Mike Cernovich, and organizer Anthony Dream Johnson (who claims he is the 1st President of the Manosphere), along with a bunch of other creepy dudes you've never even heard of and definitely have no interest in speaking to for more than five minutes, never mind marrying.
The conference is called The 22 Convention (We do not know why!) and features the tagline "Make Women Great Again." According to the website, it is "destined to be the mansplaining event of the century."
What I have learned, just from this website, is that allllllll of the women today are extremely unhappy because feminism told us that we had to be men and were not allowed to be feminine!
Hiding under a mask of fake progress, feminism today has become a radical assault on all forms of positive femininity - you know, the one hard coded into your DNA. Through an onslaught of anti-feminine propaganda spanning generations, women today have been pushed to act like men and DENY their own feminine nature. This has left millions of women feeling unhappy, confused, frustrated, and hopeless. At The 22 Convention, you will learn the truth that unhealthy militant feminists have been hiding from you your entire life.
I want to be outraged, but I'm just giggling too hard right now. We're not unhappy (at least not for that particular reason), but they so desperately want us to be. In their sad little YouTube fantasy lives, we're all sitting around pining for them and going "Oh why oh why did we choose to work when we could have been barefoot and pregnant and married to a man who YouTubes all day about how much he hates women?"
And to be clear, that is pretty much the only kind of man you are going to get with tips like these. No normal man in this day and age is sitting around pining for a Barbara Billingsly LARPer. I mean, look at this lady here. She's driving herself up the damn wall to be the perfect 1950s housewife and her husband is so obviously weirded out by it that all he can muster is "Uh, have fun at your tea party?"
#TradWives (Social Movement Documentary) | Real Stories Original www.youtube.com
The conference plans to teach women all kinds of important things. For instance, did you know that instead of having careers and lives, we could just be baby factories?
For decades, feminism has derided women who want to prioritize motherhood and family. Shamed them, mocked them, ridiculed them as servants of some mysterious patriarchy boogeyman. These clever manipulations were designed to weed you out of the gene pool and forever prevent you from embracing the sacred responsibility and adventure of motherhood - a journey your half of the human race is uniquely equipped for. Our speakers will teach you how to have as many babies as your heart desires with the time you have left and bounce back to amazing health and wellness without extreme diets or stress. The clock is ticking and your babies are soon to be kicking!
Yeah, I'm gonna say that this is not so much an "us" problem as it is a "them" problem. Because, as this paragraph notes, we're the ones who are "uniquely equipped." We get to make these decisions. If we want to have babies, we'll have babies. If we don't want to have babies, we won't have babies. It's really entirely up to those of us with that "unique equipment," and our turkey basters, if we so desire.
Conveniently, the whole thing about feminism having some issue with motherhood is pretty much just a thing made up by sad men who need to comfort themselves with a reason for why no one wishes to procreate with them outside of "I am an extremely repulsive and stupid person."
But let's move on... to the "no fat chicks" part of the seminar (go ahead and skip over this if you're not in a mindset to hear a bunch of fat-shaming bullshit).
Over 80 million women in America today are overweight or obese. These epidemic level numbers are no secret in spite of endless hyper-fit photoshop pictures of Instagram celebrities at ridiculously low body fat levels. Nevertheless, being sick and obese (a recognized disease in modern medicine) is not beautiful. Taking good care of your body is beautiful in process and outcome. Men admire healthy, fit women. They are after all sizing you up for reproduction, and your decisions will be passed on to your children through the choices you make via epigenetics. At The 22 Convention, you'll learn how women have been lied to about "body positivity" and what you can do about it right now.
GOD THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD.
I admittedly kind of love how het up these kind of men are about body positivity. It brings me joy. I love the idea of them sitting around, fuming "How dare all these people feel good about themselves without even caring what I think about it! And they won't even pretend that the reason I'm shitty to fat people is because I care so deeply about their health!" It tickles me. I want them to be miserable. I absolutely live for it and it delights me to no end.
This has nothing, of course, to do with health. It doesn't even have anything to do with what they or anyone is sexually attracted to. It's that they are real mad about the idea of women feeling good about themselves without express permission from them. That shit makes them feel important. They desperately want to think women give a fuck about what they think, and it hurts them that we do not.
Anyway, onto the part where they want us to be feminine, debt-free (I assume this means no college) virgins with no tattoos.
For the past several hundred thousand years of human life on this planet, masculine men have preferred feminine women in all areas of life; from the kitchen to the bedroom, dating to relationships, marriage, family, and beyond. High quality masculine men want high quality feminine women to mother their children and set great examples for their daughters. Our speakers will teach you what men and women of prior generations FAILED to teach you as a direct result of feminist meddling and sabotage. These are the relationship and life talks radical feminists do not want you to hear.
Oh yeah, all of us radical feminists are shaking in our boots, terrified of what will happen if women find out that professional misogynists want them to conform more to their idea of "feminine." That would be really awful. It's hardly as though that's a thing everyone already knows and does not give a flying fuck about!
Honestly, I think that's really the gist of this whole thing. These men truly think the problem is that women don't know what they want, when, in fact, they just don't care about what they want, because we don't want them.
Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse