Donate

The Jell-O Recipe That Mamie Eisenhower Used To Win The Cold War

Recipe Hub

Here is your bit of "DC gossip" for the day: a Jell-o dessert recipe, for the holiday of Thanksgiving! It is Mamie Eisenhower's famed Red Scare Thanksgiving Jell-o Dessert and it is best served chilled, to family members you hate. (There is Mamie right there with "friend" Lenora Hickock, feeding each other Jell-O and giggling knowingly.) This vile thing is exactly what the Eisenhowers used to force-feed the Soviets, and it is delicious.


Ingredients:

  • One (1) packet of sugar-free raspberry Jello
  • One (1) small-ish amount of water
  • One (1) handful of ice cubes
  • One (1) cup of Sprite Zero
  • One (1) packet of Cherry-Pomegranate Crystal Light

  1. Fill a small-ish sauce pan thing with water. Ideally it should amount to around a cup or so, but sometimes even the best chefs have a difficult time finding where overreaching family members moved the measuring cups, so just whatever feels like a cup, that’s probably a cup.
  2. Pour out the sugar-free raspberry Jello into a bowl. Make sure the bowl is big enough to hold at least two or so cups of liquid. This last point is crucial.
  3. Stare at the water until it boils. Do not worry: it will boil, despite the epigram suggesting otherwise.
  4. Pour the boiling water on top of the Jello in the bowl and stir it a few times so all the Jello particles whiz around in an even fashion and none are stuck to the bottom.
  5. Pour like a half-cup of cold Sprite Zero into the mixture too.
  6. So now grab a handful of ice cubes and place them in here too, as this will hasten the Jello along on its journey from liquid Jello to Jello Jello.
  7. Add a dash, or more than a dash—no judgment!—of Cherry-Pomegranate Crystal Light. There are now several different flavors floating about, which is several minus one more than you would have in cases of unmodified sugar-free raspberry Jello.
  8. Place in freezer. You heard me.
  9. Check on the Jello by sticking your finger in it every 10 to 15 minutes.
  10. When it resembles an ice-skating rink covered in blood (a hockey rink?), it is Time.

This is all it took, plus Ronald Reagan.

$
Donate with CC

HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

It's been a joy watching the reactions come in from TrumpWorld about the news that Donald Trump has committed YET ANOTHER CRIME, in this case suborning perjury by instructing his former lawyer thug fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress. How many other people did he do that with? WE DUNNO! But that's not what this post is about.

First of all, let's see what the big guy himself did. As with all presidential statements from the un-president, it happened on Twitter:

Oh wait, that's (grapes) not it. Here it is:

That's right, the president of the United States reacted to a bombshell news report exposing that he had tampered with a witness by suborning perjury by ... tampering with that witness some more in public, by threatening his father-in-law! (To be fair, Trump has been trying to intimidate the witness by encouraging the feds to investigate Cohen's father-in-law for a hot minute now. It's one of his things, like tweeting and pooping at the same time and comparing WALL to WHEEL.)

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc