Trump Idiots Explain Trump's Idiot Executive Orders Almost Perfectly On Sunday Shows

Donald Trump took time from his busy golfing schedule on Saturday and signed a series of four executive orders, supposedly to give Americans financial "relief" during this pandemic. In order to do this, Trump is used two of his favorite tactics: raiding money allocated for something else -- the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) during hurricane season and the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act in this case -- and daring Democrats to call his bluff/power grab ("If we get sued, it's going to be someone who doesn't want people to get money. And that's not going to be a very popular thing," Trump said.)

It's a Final Crisis constructed in the ashes of previous inactions, as our Editrix pointed out.

The White House sent some royal subjects administration officials to the Sunday shows to make sense from evil King Ralph's proclamations. Or as David Frum said:

We start with Trump economic adviser and melted Gordon Gekko, Larry Kudlow.

Appearing on both CNN's "State Of The Union" and ABC's "This Week," Kudlow brought all the know-how of a man who had less that 24 hours to figure out explain this. Like when he was asked by Dana Bash on CNN about how much money Americans would receive.

BASH: You keep saying $1,200 per person. Are you talking about in addition to the unemployment that they're already getting? [...] Where does that number come from?

KUDLOW: That's the payroll -- I'm sorry. I beg your pardon. The $1,200 will come from the payroll tax deferral on top of this. [...]

BASH: I want to get to payroll tax in a minute. [...]

KUDLOW: It should be 800 bucks. I beg your pardon. It should be 800 bucks for the unemployment.

BASH: Eight hundred or $400?

KUDLOW: No, it should be $400 -- it should be $800.

Well that's not confusing at all! The executive order expects the states who struggling with COVID-induced budget deficits to somehow pony up $100 out of that $400. It's deliberate misdirection. So if the states can't kick in the additional funds, Trump gets to shame them. But if they do pony up, he gets to claim ALL credit like he does with other things he takes credit for that he did not in fact do.

Kudlow had worse luck with George Stephanopoulos on ABC when he pushed him on Trump's eviction moratorium executive order, which didn't actually accomplish much of anything:

Trump 'felt he had to take action' on coronavirus relief: Kudlow | ABC News

STEPHANOPOULOS: In fact, the president doesn't extend the federal eviction moratorium. I looked at the executive order, it doesn't do that. It simply directs how to find a way to help people and identify federal funds. It doesn't include extending the eviction moratorium.

KUDLOW: Well, look, it -- that's not entirely true. I mean, in there --

STEPHANOPOULOS: Well, it is true. I read -- I just read --

KUDLOW: [...] So, it just says there's going to be a review, I can tell you, George, the intent of that is that the review will prevent any evictions. We've been fortunate so far. But this is a guardrail and it will work out beautifully.

STEPHANOPOULOS: OK. I understand that, you say that's the intent. Just to clarify, because I'm reading page three of it right here. It says such action may include encouraging and providing assistance to public housing authorities or affordable housing owners, landlords and recipients of federal grant funds in minimizing evictions and foreclosures. It doesn't talk about extending the moratorium.

Meanwhile on NBC's "Meet The Press," Jared Kushner's Amazon recommendation "expert" Peter Navarro tried the same lie about the eviction moratorium with sentient CPR doll Chuck Todd.

Full Navarro: Trump Is 'Hardest Working President In History' | Meet The Press | NBC News

NAVARRO: If you look, for example, at the eviction and foreclosure language, in your opener there you noted the words "shall consider." Well, that's how you have to write it. But everybody knows in that bureaucracy that you damn well should do it. And they will.

Landlords and property owners are just gonna do it because you wrote "shall consider"? Navarro "should consider" fucking himself.

But it wouldn't be an appearance by a Trump sycophant if there wasn't an outrageous Mike Pompeo-level asskissing moment, and Navarro did not disappoint.

TODD: Where is the president? Why was he at his golf club all weekend? Why isn't he negotiating? Look, I understand --

NAVARRO: Hang on. Let me, let me respond --

TODD: -- you guys don't like each other.

NAVARRO: -- to that. That is not --

TODD: That Nancy Pelosi and the president --

NAVARRO: Hang on.

TODD: Where is he?

NAVARRO: Well, he --

TODD: Why isn't he involved?

NAVARRO: Look, you have to understand this is the hardest working president in history.

Hardest working president in history? OK.

We end with Treasury Secretary and executive producer of Jupiter Ascending Steven Mnuchin getting grilled by Chris Wallace on Fox News, on Trump's incredibly stupid idea for suspending payroll taxes so that we ... still owe them at tax time.

Mnuchin: Democrats are holding up benefits to hardworking Americans

WALLACE: First of all, suspending payroll taxes doesn't help the -- the millions of people who are out of jobs and don't have to pay payroll taxes, so they don't get a benefit there. And it's also not a payroll tax cut, it's a payroll tax suspension. Isn't there a danger that a lot of businesses won't pass this -- these savings through to workers because they're going to hold onto the money inasmuch as, at some point, according to this executive action by the end of the year, those payroll taxes are going to have to be paid anyway?

MNUCHIN: Well, Chris, we -- the president wanted to do a payroll tax cut. We could do the payroll tax deferral.

Wallace pointed out the obvious result of this move:

WALLACE: I want to pick up on what you just said, that if the president's reelected he would like to cut the payroll tax. The payroll tax is what finances Social Security. The payroll tax is what finances Medicare. Democrats are now saying, if President Trump is re-elected, he's going to gut those programs because he's going to gut the tax that pays for them.

MNUCHIN: Chris, that's not the case. There would be an automatic contribution from the general fund to those trust funds. The president, in no way, wants to harm those trust funds. So they'd be reimbursed just as they've always been in the past when we've done these types of things.

WALLACE: So you're saying that there would be no payroll tax cut. There would be an income tax -- what, increase, because we're all running - - already running huge deficits. So how are you going to pay for it from the general fund?

MNUCHIN: No, no -- Chris -- Chris, there's a payroll tax cut, which is like any other tax cut to hardworking Americans. And you just have a transfer from the general fund.

Funny how deficits only matter when Democrats are in power.

Have a week!

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Michael Mora

Pop Culture observer & Comics fan. Amateur Movie Reviewer. Political Freelance Writer @wonkette. Marine, Husband & Dad. Opinions are mine only.


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