The One Million Moms Have A Not-So-Fresh Feeling About Menstruating Ladies
In 1985, Courteney Cox became the first person to say "period" (in reference to a menstrual period) on television, in a commercial for Tampax — which had been advertised on television since 1972.
This week, it's another Monica who has something to say about menstruation: Monica Cole! As in Monica Cole and the One Million Moms who definitely exist outside of her imagination and who are in fact in the room with her right now. She is upset about a commercial for Thinx period panties, in which a mom briefly attempts to explain to her daughter how to use a tampon, before being interrupted by the girl's hip-and-with-it sister who tells her she doesn't need to use a tampon when she can just bleed into Thinx underwear instead!
Is Monica Cole concerned this young lady is going to wish she knew how to insert a tampon should she someday get her period outside of her own home? No, she is not. She is worried about what horrors will befall families who see this commercial together.
Thinx, the manufacturer of reusable menstruation underwear called period panties, is now promoting its Thinx Teens products to teenagers in a new commercial.
It is concerning that this ad has a fully clothed mom giving her teen a tutorial on how to insert a tampon, which is repulsive and completely unnecessary in a public forum. Thinx even had to turn off the comments to the YouTube video version of this commercial because of the negative comments opposing it.
The ad begins with the mother demonstrating to her teen daughter how to insert and use a tampon. Her daughter is embarrassed because the fully clothed mother is positioned with one leg propped on the side of the bathtub and a tampon between her pants legs as she walks her daughter through the process. All the while, a camera zooms in on the mom’s crotch. Her daughter looks extremely uncomfortable.
The mom says, “Grandma helped me do this my first time.”
The humiliated daughter replies, “Mom, no!”
Nothing is left to the imagination.
Then, the teen’s older sister walks into the bathroom, gives her a pair of Thinx period panties, and tells her younger sister, “Mom won’t have to show you how to use them. You’re welcome.”
The little sister replies, “Thank you!”
How mortifying, especially for anyone watching television with peers of the opposite sex or with family members.
Plus, this inappropriate commercial airs during prime time when young children are most likely to watch television. Yet, Thinx still chose to air this commercial, despite its controversial and personal nature.
Can you imagine what goes through a child’s mind when watching these ads? Thinx should be ashamed!
Thinx also needs to know that some parents do not approve of its marketing tactics. The company may alienate customers if it continues advertising in an unnecessarily repulsive manner that offends parents.
Yes, we must hide the Curse of Blood from the (cis) menfolk! God forbid they know what we do when we go out to the red tent every month. We must keep them pure so they can keep coming out with excellent and normal takes like "Tampons should not be free, why does everyone keep saying they should be?? if u can't control ur bladder then that's not taxpayers problem!"
Or "Ladies creaming and periods is something your body is not suppose to do it's like a cold of the vagina you are releasing toxins that come from your diet & from sex with the wrong people but you also loose most of the minerals your body contains & needs which is why y'all always moody because y'all basically at a chemical imbalance all the time #FreeGame #ThankMeLater"
Or "Only reason why girls have cramps is because they eat cold stuff while they're on their cycle. At first, it may seem like eating ice cream will help you feel better with ice cream but truth is, it's just hurting your body because naturally, the blood is meant to flow out of your body. Girls, eating ice cream stops the blood from flowing out of your body. Just trust me. Therefore, my dear men, stop your girls from eating and drinking cold stuff. Get her something warm even if she's craving ice cream or any cold drinks."
It's just science!
To be clear, the mom in this commercial is not literally inserting a tampon into her vagina. True, she's not riding a horse or playing tennis and vaguely insinuating that maybe something is happening involving Windex that would necessitate the use of a tampon or pad, but it's hardly shocking.
Quite frankly, the old-timey douche commercials were far more jarring (and unnecessary because the vagina is a self-cleaning oven).
Of course, being an old-timey douche herself, Monica Cole probably finds them a lot more relatable.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse