The Sloganator Is Confused!

There may be too many Bush-Cheney 0-Faux slogans for us to get to all of them today. But just as the joke was starting to get old, we started receiving email from people who had put in one snarky slogan and gotten something completely different. It makes the Sloganator seem like it has a mind of its own. A filthy one, but its own nonetheless. It's the world's dumbest bot.

Wonketteer: "hello"

Sloganator: "Closet Case Children of the RNC for . . ."

Wonketteer: "Hide your daughters!"

Sloganator: "Let's loose like Daddy did!"

Wonketteer: "Lookout Syria..."

Sloganator: "It's ugly but so are you."

Wonketteer: "Alabama" as my state and "Birmingham" as the city

Sloganator: "These candidates received NO BLOWJOBS."

Wonketteer: "Cause Jesus Don't Love No Gays"

Sloganator: "No ass fucking" [I am so proud. -- Ed.]

W: All Things to All People [Wonkette]

Your Slogans [Wonkette]

Wonketter: "Stop Gays, Amend the Constitution!"

Sloganator: "Lies and More Lies!"

Wonketter: "Pole Smokers for"

Sloganator: "WE HATE ASIANS TOO!"

Wonketter: "I fooled ya once, let me fool ya twice"

Sloganator: "Pass the cocaine." 

Wonketter: "Unimaginably Destructive" (not my best, but

Sloganator: "Dead Soldiers Are Our Business."

Wonketter: "Gay Homo Fags for Bush"

Sloganator: "Support the Lies"

Wonketter: "Uber Alles"

Sloganator: "Not As Bad As Sauron"

Wonketter: "Laid Back Belgians for" and I got:

Sloganator: "I (heart) EVIL!"

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Today we are having a Very Serious Conversation about how liberals are very uncivil and mean and terrible and vulgar, because a restaurant in Virginia very nicely asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders to GTFO, due to how she is an atrocious liar who works for a fascist. (The restaurant comped the cheese plates that had already been served.) Meanwhile the president is threatening 79-year-old black congresswomen on Twitter and ripping babies away from their parents and just generally being a fascist. BOTH SIDES DO IT, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, VERY SERIOUS PUNDITS?

Point is, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is doing her first White House press briefing in a week, assuming she doesn't wuss out like she always does. Will she lie? Will she cry? Will she be a sack of shit like she always is? Most importantly, has she managed to find a meal since she was kicked out of the Red Hen? We certainly hope she's managed to find a Chick-fil-A or something, as we wouldn't want Our Sarah to be forced to give a press briefing while hangry.

Let's liveblog and see what a foul asshole SHS feels like being today:

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Last week, Nicole Arteaga of Peoria, Arizona received the devastating news from her doctor that her baby's development had stopped and that pregnancy would end in a miscarriage. Given the option of either a D&C or prescription medication, she chose to go with the prescription. Then, like all normal people do when they get a prescription, she went to a pharmacy to have it filled.

Unfortunately for her, Brian Hrenuic -- the pharmacist at the Walgreens she went to -- refused to give her that prescription, because he opposed it on "moral grounds."

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