The Stage Is Getting Bigger Again, Oh F*ck! Your Charleston Democratic Debate Preview!
Here we go again! Wait, didn't we just do this five minutes ago? Yes, we did! And we are doing it again!
Tonight there is a Democratic debate in Charleston, South Carolina, and it starts at 8:00 p.m Eastern. And Wonkette will be liveblogging it! It happens in advance of the South Carolina primary this weekend, and also in advance of Super Tuesday, which is one week from today, the day upon which MANY STATES cast their votes.
The questions on everybody's minds right now are whether Bernie Sanders will continue his winning streak this weekend, or whether somebody will stop him, or a couple of somebodies will stop him. Will Joe Biden emerge like phoenix in South Carolina and start running away with it? Will Michael Bloomberg snatch Joe Biden's wig on Super Tuesday? Or somebody else? We do not know. If your main voting motivation right now is to stop somebody, then now is the time to stop them, though, because in a few weeks it will be too late to stop them, unless it isn't, in which case you can still stop them.
And THAT is the kind of political analysis and forecasting you come to Wonkette for!
Here are some questions to consider about tonight's debate:
1. Michael Bloomberg has reportedly been off the "trail" this week, such as his "trail" has been, trying to make sure he doesn't have as much of a garbage debate as he had last time. Will he manage to not suck this time?
2. Tom Steyer, the other billionaire, actually managed to make the debate stage this time, and he's doing pretty well in the polls in South Carolina. How do you feel about that?
3. As for the others, well, Bernie has frontrunner status now, so is everybody going to beat his ass and take him behind the gym after 5th period to beat his ass some more? Could happen! We bet Pete's got a zinger prepared about that whole Fidel Castro thing, yep we bet he does.
4. Will Elizabeth Warren just beat everybody's ass again, like she did last week? Because that was fun to watch.
5. Will Amy Klobuchar and Pete Buttigieg finally fight to the death?
Here are all the important facts, in case you scrolled past the dick jokes and just want the important facts:
WHAR DEBATE? In Charleston, South Carolina, where this weekend's primary is. It is a CBS debate, moderated by Norah O'Donnell, Gayle King, Margaret Brennan, Major Garrett and Bill Whitaker.
WHY DEBATE? Because fuck it, let's do this again!
WHEN DEBATE? 8:00 p.m. Eastern, which is "time" in other time zones.
HOW WATCH DEBATE? On your TV, as per usual, or on internet. If we can find a livestream, we will stick it on Wonkette!
OH NO, YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE GYM AND ALSO EARLY VOTE IN THE TENNESSEE PRIMARY BETWEEN REGULAR WORK AND DEBATE! WILL YOU HAVE TIME TO DO ALL THE THINGS? According to math projections, it should be OK!
WHO DEBATE? The real candidates and also both billionaires, because Tom Steyer managed to buy, we mean poll, his way into this one. That's right, this debate will have one MORE person than the one last week in Vegas, for a total of seven.
STILL NO TULSI, THOUGH, RIGHT? Hahahahaha, no Tulsi. She might be imaginary-debating Hillary Clinton all by herself, though.
WHAR LIVEBLOG? Right here, at the Wonkette! It will be liveblogged by yours truly!
AND THEN NO DEBATES FOR A WHILE, RIGHT? Right. Not until March 15, allegedly.
Join us later! And until then, this is your OPEN THREAD!
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