The Top 147 Reasons Mitch McConnell Can Shut His Supreme Court Bullsh*t Facehole

Today is a really good day for Mitch McConnell to put a sock in it. Sure, every day is a good day to tell the Senate Minority Leader to get fucked, but on this day, when Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer officially announced his retirement, it seems especially apt.
Get a load of this statement from McConnell, who congratulated Justice Breyer on his "commitment to the importance of a nonpartisan, non-politicized judiciary" before lobbing this sack of crap at President Joe Biden:
Looking ahead — the American people elected a Senate that is evenly split at 50-50. To the degree that President Biden received a mandate, it was to govern from the middle, steward our institutions, and unite America.
The President must not outsource this important decision to the radical left. The American people deserve a nominee with demonstrated reverence for the written text of our laws and our Constitution.
And lo, lightning did not strike him down on the spot!
First of all, the Senate's 50 Democrats received 41 million more votes than their 50 Republican colleagues, so let's not kid ourselves that it was "the American people" rather than the Senate's anachronistic selection process that led to the chamber's 50-50 split. And while we're doing math, President Biden didn't receive a mandate "to a degree" — he received 81 million votes, which is more than any other president in the history of this country. And he broke 51 percent of the vote, which is more than any Republican has done since George W. Bush.
Justice Antonin Scalia wasn't even cold in the ground when McConnell said he wasn't going to let President Barack Obama, who was re-elected by 51 percent of Americans, fill that seat. Republicans weren't so concerned about who had a "mandate" when they blocked Merrick Garland, a centrist by any light, for a year. But for Donald Trump, who only received 46 percent of the vote, which was BTW less than Hillary Clinton, McConnell abolished the filibuster and handed life tenure to three hard-Right justices who could never have gotten 60 votes.
So maybe he could STFU about governing from the middle and uniting the country.
But perhaps the most offensive part of this statement — and the whole thing is bloody goddamn offensive — is the admonition not to "outsource this important decision to the radical left."
As if conservatives hasn't spent the past 30 years engaged in a concerted effort to halt the progress of civil rights and economic justice by taking over the federal judiciary, with the Supreme Court as its ultimate prize.
As if the Republican party hadn't been outsourcing judicial nominations to the Federalist Society for 25 years.
As if Leonard Leo, the dark prince of judicial ratfucking, hadn't spent $250 million of dark money between 2014 and 2017 alone to influence judicial selections.
As if McConnell hadn't just packed the judiciary with a bunch of unqualified, 30-something hacks recommended by Leo and the Federalist Society.
As if McConnell hadn't jammed through Brett Kavanaugh after a woman testified that he'd tried to rape her.
As if McConnell gave two shits about uniting the country when he jammed through Amy Coney Barrett's nomination in a bid to kill off Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's legacy when it was clear that Trump's days in the White House were numbered.
So McConnell can miss us with the lecture on whom Biden should take advice from on filling Justice Breyer's seat. If anyone broke this court and made it a partisan political entity, it's Mitch McConnell. He brought brass knuckles to this game, and now he's going to have to take the punch.
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.