The Totally Expected Answers To What Republicans Stand For

After Mitch McConnell and his Senate GOP flunkies blocked voting rights again, thanks to the help of disingenuous cowards Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema, President Joe Biden held a long press conference. Much like a football coach after a game, Biden answered questions from reporters on what the Democratic Party could've, would've or should've. Biden then, after quoting New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu's assessment of GOP Senate "goals," asked a very simple question:

PRESIDENT BIDEN: What are Republicans for? What are they for? Name me one thing they’re for.

Seems the Sunday shows answered that question.

Fox News

On mini-Newsmax incubator "Sunday Morning Futures," former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich decided that what Republicans are for is political retribution against the House January 6 Select Committee for the crime of (checking notes) investigating an attempted insurrection.

GINGRICH: The wolves are gonna find out that they're now sheep, and they're the ones who in fact, I think, face a real risk of jail for the kind of laws they're breaking.

How did a similar strategy in 1998-1999 work out for ya, Newt?

While DNC Chair Jaime Harrison and House Select Committee Republican member Liz Cheney gave the appropriate response to this fascistic/authoritarian threat to abuse their power for petty retribution, it was fellow Republican House Select Committee member Adam Kinzinger who gave the proper summation, gravitas and, respect that Newt deserves:

Meanwhile in the only "normal" news show, "Fox News Sunday," South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem came to lie to their ever-aging audience despite reality disputing her at every turn. The gaslighting began early, when host Shannon Bream showed these Fox News polling results on abortion:

: Governor, you've made clear you're among those who would like to see Roe struck down. Well, our brand-new Fox News poll shows us this, when asked about that, 63 percent say let it stand, 31 percent say it's time to overturn it.

Are you out of step with the American people on this?

NOEM: No. In fact, 71 percent of Americans believe there should be some reasonable restrictions on abortions. You know, when I ran for governor, I talked about being the most pro-life governor in the country.

There is a HUGE difference between outlawing abortion and believing in "some reasonable restrictions on abortions." (Most of these hinge on whether a fetus has reached the point of "viability," or ability to survive outside the mother. Every one of the challenges to Roe right now leaps right over that "reasonable restriction" — which is already allowed under Roe.) Lumping together the anti-choice zealots with people who might be more moderate about things like late term abortions is a nice way to pad your numbers to come up with that 71 percent. When the "most pro-life governor in the country" was asked about COVID, she answered this:

BREAM: At last check on your state health department website, the positive test rate for PCR tests is 41 percent. So, what are you doing now in South Dakota to get that number down?

NOEM: We are doing exactly what we've been doing the last two years. And we're right in the middle of where all the states rank right now for cases. [...]

Yeah ... that's the problem, Noem. You've been doing the same failed strategy since the beginning and, despite South Dakota having the fifth least densely populated state in the United States, your COVID test positivity rate is nearly half. Which means being in "the middle of where all the states rank right now" is a bigger failure than it would be if you were as densely populated as New Jersey, Florida, or even Rhode Island. Washington DC (which should be a state) is more densely populated than every state (having the most population by square mile) yet has a 12.5 percent positive COVID test rate.

Noem, continued, by moving the goal posts.

NOEM: But, Shannon, in South Dakota, we — we haven't focused on cases. We focus on hospitalization rates.

Here's a wild theory: Implement COVID mitigations that will reduce the number of positive test cases overall, Noem! Then you won't have to worry about fatalities or hospitalization rates risking hospital capacity! Seems logical, no? It's that whole "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" thing. Or in this case, free vaccines.

But what's Gov. Noem's plan?

NOEM: We know that we can't stop this virus. We can slow it down, but that we need to focus on hospital capacity, taking care of people should they get very, very sick.

Oh, just resign to do nothing and hope shit magically fixes itself. That and attacking trans people for votes.

CBS's "Face The Nation"

We conclude with the top Republican on the House Foreign Affairs Committee, Rep. Mike McCaul. Earlier in the show, host Margaret Brennan interviewed House January 6 Select Committee Chair Bennie Thompson, who revealed a few new details on the unsigned executive order drafted to use military assets to seize voting machines in December of 2020.

What was McCaul's response to this revelation, especially in light of his being endorsed by Trump himself for re-election?

MCCAUL: Well, you know my reaction, it was a dark day, January 6, I want the truth to come out. I think this committee has been somewhat politicized. [...] I've- of course, I mean, when the executive- commander in chief and these are allegations, I don't think the executive order was ever followed through with. [...] Right. I think it should come out the truth, obviously. I always say it. The truth should come out.

What a courageous condemnation of an attempted coup! McCaul didn't even have the bare minimum decency to rebuke the endorsement from Trump. This made all the following condemnations of Russian authoritarianism seem like hollow 'tough guy' posturing.

: What are Republicans for?

Fraud, Fear, and Fascism apparently.

We are so screwed if these fuckbonnets gain power again.

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Michael Mora

Your friendly neighborhood Puerto Rican Political Freelance Writer for @wonkette. Pop Culture observer, Amateur Movie reviewer & Comics fan. Former Active Duty Marine. All opinions are mine only.


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