The Truth About Hotel Breakfast Buffets! Tabs, Fri., July 16, 2021

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Tabs gif by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Well. I'm so old I remember on the day of 1/6 even Fox News anchors looked horrified, before they all decided it was a typical tourist visit, by Antifa. Use one of your WaPo links if you don't have a scrip: Ivanka and Mike Pence being actual (for them, but for the country too) heroes on 1/6. Believe it or do not! And every single White House aide and advisor weighing in on how they begged President "We Love You You're Very Special" to get off his ass and tell the rioters to STOP IT. Leonnig/Rucker excerpt in Washington Post.

Mainstream media is waking up to the Right spreading COVID on purpose, to take down Joe Biden. So that's ... well it's still not awesome! But welcome. Meanwhile, Marcotte looks at how the Right's been doing this for decades with sexual health, with a cameo from Mike Pence being NOT A HERO. — Amanda Marcotte at Salon

Oh yeah, Tucker Carlson's so absolutely been vaccinated. What an unmitigated piece of shit.

Near the end of our call, I asked Carlson if he'd been vaccinated against COVID-19. He paused. "Because I'm a polite person, I'm not going to ask you any supervulgar personal questions like that."

I told him he was welcome to ask me whatever he wanted.

"That's like saying, 'Do you have HIV?'" he said. "How about 'None of your business'?" He broke into a cackle, like a hyena let loose in Brooks Brothers. "I mean, are you serious? What's your favorite sexual position and when did you last engage in it?"

Charlotte Alter at Time


Was Jeffrey Epstein a spy? Maaaaybe! (Rolling Stone)

An affordable wage/"labor shortage"/rent catastrophe roundup from the Patriotic Millionaires!

There's one born every minute. Conservatives' new "secure, censorship-resistant" smartphones are extremely insecure Chinese Android knockoffs presumably chock full of malware. Also the "censorship-resistant" device is an app store with Parler on it. All from the "world's youngest Bitcoin millionaire," betcha want it now! — Daily Dot

AG Merrick Garland restores immigration judges' discretion (stripped under Trump) and overturns some immigration decisions about who qualifies for asylum (under Trump, literally no one). (CNN)

Wanna read someone being SO MEAN to JD Vance? — Tom Nichols at The Atlantic

People are fucking awful, Wyoming bar antigay T-shirts edition. (Yahoo)

White women. Boy, I don't know. The Victoria's Secret Karen. — Heavy

Except for these ones. YAY FRIENDSHIP. The women of sweet-hearted "Ted Lasso" best friends onscreen and off. (Variety)

When to say "bon jour": EVERY TIME. — The Local

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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