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The Week In Garbage Men: Douchebag Offers Lessons In Not Being A 'Cuck.'

Media/Entertainment

If there is anything that right-wing men seem to love, it is paying lots and lots of money to other dudes who will tell them how to live and/or function.


It is a whole thing. Look at how much money they give to Jordan Peterson just to talk to them about lobsters and tell them to clean their rooms! If I had a penis and no scruples, I would immediately create some kind of online course for dudes in which I told them that a bunch of misogynistic bullshit was the REAL TRUTH the world was trying to hide from them and also that they should make sure to trim their nose hairs -- then I would sit back and rake in the millions. It would be very, very easy. Fools and their money are, indeed, very easily parted.

The latest dickwads to take advantage of this kind of moneymaking scheme are the sentient Ed Hardy T-shirts MMA Fighter Andrew "Depression Isn't Real" Tate and scammy "dating coach" Christopher McQueen who are offering courses on how to be a G instead of a cuck. Or a soyboy. For the low, low price of $497!

They write:

From The Global Hot Tub Desk of: CMQ & Andrew Tate
Fellow Future G:
CMQ and Andrew Tate here.
The era of Soyboys is upon us and what defines men today is quite clearly labeled in two camps:
Savages and Cucks.
Which are you?
You've heard the term 'G' on Twitter and Instagram often...No doubt you know what it means...But do you know HOW to live the life of your dreams and most importantly on YOUR terms?

SAVAGES AND CUCKS. Now, I have certainly been accused of being a misandrist in my time, but I have certainly never said that all men are either "savages or cucks." That would be rude.

Also I am pretty sure the term "G" existed long before Twitter and Instagram? Like, more than 20 years before Twitter and Instagram?

They continue:

If a man makes $2 million per year, but is a slave to a PC company, a cunty wife and bratty kids, can he be a G?
No.
If a man makes $1 million per year, answers to essentially no one, has a harem of women who all love him and does whatever he wants, when he wants, is he a G?
Clearly.

I believe I have heard the same sentiments from David Leisure on reruns of Empty Nest.

There is a divide that is ripping men a part and very few men are on the right side.
While nations fill with cucks and masculine women, a few men are doing something DIFFERENT, creating powerful relationships with non-cucked countries and living life on their terms...
You've seen the difference...probably at your 9-5...
'Men' walk around heads bowed, shoulders stooped, afraid to make eye contact with women while living a life of quiet desperation.
And you've most definitely seen it out and about wherever you live...
Just wander into your local Starfucks and look at the soyboys sippin' on frothy crappucinos full of soy...

These dudes are very obsessed with soy! That is weird, but what is weirder is that next they get all "you can have my avocado toast when you pry it from my cold dead hands" about things.

Is that the type of 'man' you want to be?
A man who is brow beat by the politically 'correct' culture?
A man who is told that he must skip avacodo toast for 43.5 years so he can maybe have 1 million bucks in his bank account at the ripe age of 64 when his dick no longer works and his will to live is barely alive?
This is REALITY.
This is how MOST 'men' are living...
It's pathetic.
It's sad.

They make take our lives, but they will never take our AVOCADO TOAST!

According to Tate and McQueen, here are some of the signs that this may be the "How To Be A Weird Douchebag" course for you!

  • You're frustrated with a lack of mentors to SHOW you exactly what to do to break free from the status quo
  • You want a true harem of women who ALL love and are loyal to YOU
  • You want to find ONE woman to become your wife, but you don't know how to FIND even one who is worthy of this title
  • You're afraid of sinking into the sinkhole of Cuckland and losing any masculinity you may still have

A harem AND a wife? Talk about having it all!

And you know they know what they are talking about, because here is a picture of Tate with the biggest douchebag of all, Donald Trump, Jr.!

No one here knows what the fuck they are talking about

The course includes important lessons like "The Voice That Makes The Pussy Wet" and "How To Get Rich (For Real)" and "How To Get HOT Girls." There is of course a lesson on "How To Dress Like A G," which apparently means wearing the same smoking jacket all of the time.

Seriously this is the same jacket from the other picture.

Then there are the bonus courses. Like how to put phone numbers into your phone -- a $497 "value" in and of itself!

BONUS #1. The Player's Phone Filing System with Tristan Tate
Value: $497.00
Tristan Tate, super player and brother of Andrew Tate, has developed a GENIUS phone filing system he uses to keep his women organized in his cell phone, despite the fact he has multiple women at beck and call WORLD-WIDE. This is truly ground-breaking and now you can use this simple, but powerful system to NEVER forget a girl's number you get, or a ONS you hook up with.Implement this and thank us later.

And how to use Instagram!

BONUS #2. How To Grow Your Instagram with Andrew Tate
Value: $297.00
There's a way to showcase your new G lifestyle on Instagram, the popular social media app, in a way that helps you get MORE women and BETTER business contacts. Inside this video Andrew shares his method for growing your Instagram into your own funnel for hot women and more cash.

Wow, what an amazing deal. Unfortunately, you only have until midnight tomorrow to sign up for this scam! Although if you forget, you can always just go buy a few cans of Axe Body Spray to douse yourself with in order to get the same effect. Or if you want to try something really effective in the way of getting ladies to dig you -- just study these men very, very carefully and then do the exact opposite of whatever they do. You can start by never, ever using the word "cuck."

Anyway! This is now your open thread! Don't forget to tip your Wonkette! We tell you what to do all the time and don't even ask for $497!

[HowToBeAG]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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