The Week In Garbage Men: Magical Sperm, Catfishing For Men's Rights, And More
Hello, and welcome to your weekly roundup of terrible dudes. Are you not entertained?
First up, we have this biology genius who is pretty sure that sperms are MAGIC and can travel through the bloodstream to screw with our ladybrains! Woah! What swimmers!
This is actually a very popular idea with these dudes lately. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it is not actually a thing. Basically what happened is that some incredibly stupid website incorrectly interpreted a scientific study on male microchimerism to mean that women have male cells in their brain due to magnificently enterprising sperms. They very much like this incredibly stupid theory, because it confirms their belief that having sex taints women in some way. OY.
Next up -- from the Incel subreddit, we have this absurd video encouraging men who can't get laid to catfish women on dating sites by pretending to be attractive men and then not showing up for dates, in hopes that women will stop using dating sites to meet men.
This is a thing they have been into for a while, with several of them posting videos of women showing up for dates and being stood up.
Moving on! Over at Return of Kings, we've got a charming article titled "5 Reasons Why Women Deserve To Be Paid Less Than Men," written by one Donovan Sharpe.
Now, naturally, he first denies that the wage gap exists. Men's Rights Activists -- and most conservatives in general -- very much believe this. Why? Because they think that these statistics are reached by averaging the wages made by every woman in America versus average wages made by every man in America and then going "Well obviously we get paid more! We have better jobs!" In reality, these statistics are compiled by comparing people in the same fields.
BUT ANYWAY, even though women and statisticians are lying about the existence of the wage gap to make men feel bad and ruin their days, Mr. Sharpe believes that women should be getting paid less than men. For many reasons, one of which is their PERIODS.
The irritability and emotional swings caused by their periods affects their work performance—badly. Women simply should not be paid the same as men who’s work performance is consistent while there’s a solid 10, maybe 11 days out of the month when they go completely sideways because of their menstrual cycle.
Menstruating, actually, does not affect our brain functioning. Here is a study which proves that! Whoops!
Sharpe also claims that women should be paid less because they are a "distraction."
Any time a woman invades a male space, chaos ensues. The American workplace is no different. By the time a female gets her workstation set up, she’s already decided who’s she’s going to fuck, who she’s going to get fired, and whose coat tails she’s going to ride up the ladder to success.
How do they accomplish these things? Drama. And lots of it.
If they’re not flirting with the VP hawtee, they’re either starting rumors about other women or they’re at HR for the third time this week filing, yet, another sexual harassment claim because some beta “attempted to sexually assault her” by telling her hello.
All of these shenanigans reduce everyone’s productivity, including hers. So take it out of her pay.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh god. I am like, 99% sure now that not only has this fella never actually worked with a woman, he has never met one in real life.
Also on Return of Kings, there is a charming article titled "How Abortion Creates A Society Of Entitled Women And Desperate Men" -- in which an idiot named Rob Reed pines for the "Good Old Days" of shotgun weddings.
Back when abortion was a crime, you could be a decent guy with a middle-class or even lower-middle class job and you would probably be able to find a reasonably virtuous woman to marry and start a family with. You didn’t even have to have game — just be a decent person. There was a reason. Although the Pill had been approved by the FDA in 1960, an “accident” with the wrong guy could ruin a woman’s life.
He is not necessarily opposed to abortion because it's "wrong" -- but because it allows women to have sex with whomever they want without fear of having to be stuck with that person for life should something go wrong. This, according to professional racist Charles Murray, is what did "nice guys" like him in.
“Getting pregnant without being married was wrong, and if a girl did get pregnant then she and the boyfriend who had gotten her in that fix were supposed to get married,” writes Charles Murray on 1963 America in Coming Apart. “These were conventional views shared across the political spectrum.” In that sexual marketplace, nice guys weren’t invisible: they were the only sensible option.
Reed then proclaims that Roe v. Wade must be overturned in order to give men like him a leg up in the sexual marketplace -- AND SAVE WESTERN CIVILIZATION.
Unlike so many other institutions set up to dis-empower men, the abortion status quo is actively opposed in the United States. 70 percent of the public believes abortion should be illegal under some circumstances, and 20 percent believes it should be outlawed under every circumstance.
If Roe v. Wade can be overturned, it won’t just end a morally questionable, and probably murderous industry — it may save the American sexual marketplace, and Western Civilization with it.
If Reed were right -- which he is not -- this would actually be a fantastic argument for abortion. Because really, dudes like that ought not be inflicted upon anyone. Thanks, abortion!
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse