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The Week In Garbage Men: No Country For Old Pick-Up Artists

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."


NEW RULES: Casual sex and hooking up can no longer be discussed on the forum
Due to my recent turn to faith, my sense of morality is becoming based on the Bible. I've stopped a lot of behaviors that I've used to do and am in the process of making other changes. I've also realized that the majority of my published materials and online platforms lead men into sin or enable them to partake in sin. I no longer want this to occur, so I am implementing two new rules on the forum that are effective on June 1, 2019.

1 .You can no longer discuss fornication or pre-marital sexual activity

Things you can discuss:
-Meeting women with the intention of entering a relationship with them
-Attracting women
-Going on dates
-How to enter relationships
-Using technology to meet women
-How to maintain relationships
-Sexual activity while married

Things you can no longer discuss:
-Meeting women with the intention of fornicating with them
-How to bang
-Physical intimacy with women you're not married to beyond the act of kissing
-Maintaining relationships with multiple women (i.e. spinning plates)
-Cheating on significant others (adultery)
-Using technology to fornicate
-Discussion of travel destinations which are best for fornication
-Stories of sexual activity while not married
-Promoting masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, etc.

2. You can no longer use pornographic or vulgar language
-Refrain from using terms like "I fucked her" or "I want to fuck her." Do not describe sexual encounters or situations that are beyond the act of kissing unless you are married.
-Refrain from using profanity if a cleaner word would suffice.
These rules will cause great change to the forum

The above two rules will mostly apply to the Game and Travel subforums. I know that I may lose some of you because of these rules, but I can no longer help men lead a life of sin, because doing so is weighing on my conscious.

The timing on this is rather curious. Roosh V was very recently banned from Instagram and Chase WePay, either as a result of being a known rape advocate or because he had recently announced a new money-making venture in which he would get "girlfriends" banned from social media sites in order to make them be more "modest and traditional."

Guessing it's the latter because he's been the former for a while now. The social media sites take this kind of fuckery pretty seriously.

FREEZE PEACH!:

Below is the price menu for several popular platforms. The cheaper the price, the easier it will be to ban your girlfriend.

Facebook junkie: $250
Instagram selfie addict: $500
YouTube grrl gamer: $5 (first community strike free!)
Twitch camwhore: $500
Snapchat Premium prostitute: $500
Twitter political pundit: $750
Ban my girlfriend from everything combo: $1500 (40% off!)

If you order now, I will throw in a free to ban to Tik Tok, the hot new platform that allows your girlfriend to lip sync in a seductive manner to millions of horny men. I bet you didn't even know it existed! Of course I knew it existed, because I watch hours and hours of sexy women every week purely for research purposes.

Naturally, Roosh V was OUTRAGED by this attack on his first amendment rights. He was also outraged to see people like Laura Loomer and Alex Jones banned from these services as well. He does not like any censorship or attack on first amendment rights at all. Unless it is on someone's ex girlfriend. Or people who have sex before marriage, because he doesn't do that anymore. Because of Jesus, and not because every woman on the planet is utterly repulsed by him, of course.

This is also definitely a very real conversion to Jesus-loving and not just a market response to the fact that today's misogynists are not as into having sex with lots of women as they are into finding themselves a virgin bride and yelling about how all the women are yoga pants wearing whoo-ers or whatever. Or because he couldn't successfully transition to the alt-right on account of not being a white person.

I do not personally mind that PUA is going away, because that shit is gross as hell to begin with. Alas, what it's being replaced with is equally horrifying.

I KNOW many of you hate it when I make a Garbage Men post the last post of the day, but I'm only doing two posts today because Memorial Day weekend, and I didn't get to this during the week and people have been asking me about it and so here we are. Just trying to please everyone! Still, in order to end this on a high note, please enjoy this wonderfully hilarious picture I found while trying to find an image for this post.

It is my new favorite thing and I am going to think about it and that guy's pursuit of a modeling career all day and also forever. Now go and enjoy your open thread, in which I hope you will write me some good stories about this guy and how he came to be doing Blue Steel in that particular hat.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Enter GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, AKA the committee whose members really should know better, even the Republicans, but unfortunately they don't because A) they're idiots and B) they've been sucking at Devin Nunes's dairy cows' teats (ALLEGEDLY) for too long:

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