- Quelle surprise, Ben Nelson and other senatorial douchebags are holding up the bill that would encourage direct lending to college students instead of shoveling money into private banks. [Washington Post]
- The Haitian situation is no longer in its "urgent" phase, so George Clooney will just have to find some other nation to save. [Bloomberg]
- President Obama is crashing the Republicans' secksy retreat in Baltimore today, and they are going to give him an EARFUL. [ABC News]
- Amazon is the last company in America to still be earning a profit. [ABC News]
- Tony Blair insisted in front of an Official Panel that he was not George W. Bush's lapdog or poodle or whatever, despite all evidence to the contrary. [New York Times]
- Bill Gates plans to save the lives of eight million children in the next decade. YOUR MOVE, STEVE JOBS. [New York Times]
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