Dear FBI:
We saw the CNN piece today about how many of your employees don't have email. As "bloggers," we know a thing or two about this Internet fad, and we think we might be able to help you out. Here's some things you may not know:
* Email is free.
* How bad can your budget problems be? You're not like HUD or something, can't you get in on that NSA unlimited classified budget action?
* No, seriously, email is actually free. You don't need to pay for it. We sent DoD a gmail invite, we have like 90 more for you guys.
* Despite what Senator Schumer says, not having email is not actually evidence of a pre-9/11 mentality. It's like a pre-the-last-15-years mentality. But we guess you probably couldn't afford like a Prodigy account or whatever back then.
* Hey, we know people who are like temps at Justice, and they get .gov email addresses. Did you piss off the Federal IT department or something?
* We cannot stress this enough: You don't need to pay for an email address.
* Specifically this line here: "The outside e-mail accounts have to be separately funded" -- that just makes no fucking sense to us.
Anyway, hope that helps. We will, of course, be printing this note and sending it via bike messenger or something.
