They Tried To Kill Us, We Survived, Let's Vote

They Tried To Kill Us, We Survived, Let's Vote

This weekend, my husband and I are flying to Michigan, where we will not be seeing ANY of you because I don't know if you heard but there is a global pandemic! We are taking a week off work and just hanging out to see if we would like to live in Detroit, or in Ann Arbor, or neither and we have to start looking at Milwaukee and shit.

Because we can't stay in Montana any longer.

"Oh waah! The country is getting more polarized because the people are sorting themselves politically and somehow that is bad!" say idiots who have not had to live in Montana. It's the most beautiful place I have ever seen. Sometimes I want to weep just looking out my window at the mountains past the lake.

But the lunatics are in charge here, and we can't stay. Yesterday, NBC Montana had a story about "you need better masks now because Omicron" and every one of the dozens upon dozens of comments explained masks don't work, it's a grift, it's a cold, they are trying to control you, they will kill you, you stupid idiot with the maxi pad on your face. I was upset, sputtering at my husband, telling him, "Shy! Look! The idiots!"

"Hey babe, hey babe, hey babe, hey babe," he said. "Want to move with me?"

So we are looking at a place where maybe next election the militias will be in charge. Or this nice mom businessman. Who can say!

My point, if I were to have one, is there's a lot hard about this year already, and we have to make things better where we can. We thought we could help keep Montana weird purple, but we're outnumbered by the Nazis moving in from out of state: They, like us, are self-sorting. As much as I wanted to be the change I wanted to see in MT, I have to put on my own oxygen mask first ... or make like DB Cooper and jump out the fuckin plane.

We're going to have ups and downs this year. We'll see demoralizing polls. We'll see crazy lies. We'll see more, crazier lies that will actually take our breath away. And we'll have good things happen, and maybe better things than we expected. I would never have dared dream we'd take both Georgia Senate seats one year ago now; I would never have dared dream a lot of things! And not one of us knows the goddamn future, no matter how certainly we make our pronouncements. Not one of us can say.

Next month I will turn 49, so that must be terribly lucky I bet. In March we will have a party, presumably on Zoom, to celebrate ten years since I bought this bitch and turned it into the greatest mommyblog the world has ever known. It's 1) a place for you to bitch and kvetch and commiserate and bleed your tender liberal hearts; 2) a news site for good people and good citizens to keep abreast of the fuckery and the good news both, made by journalists who care about ethics and facts and truth and others and who have a deep and broad knowledge base of politics and history and literature and cusses; and 3) no, I think that's it.

If you are not already supporting us financially, and you have $2 or $10 or $100 or $13,000 a month, please do what you can to keep us going forever. Shit's important yo.

We love you.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc