This Is New And Scary
Feeling a little shaken? Somewhat discombobulated? Well, it is a day in the Trump administration, and also, listen carefully as Wonkette's menu option has changed!
That's right, in the year of our lord 2018, mama finally got her ass off Wordpress and onto this shiny new platform. Today will be full of bugs and hiccups as we figure shit out! (And I am still on my FOUR-DAY VACATION, as if I was ever going to get four days off IN A ROW LOLOLOLOL.)
What are some differences you will see? Well, we have a shiny "infinite scroll" so you can read a post about Trump Junior's face, and what is wrong with it, and end up 17 hours later in an internet black hole where you NEVER LEFT THE WONKETTE. We know, that is every day for you, because you are awesome.
We will also be way more active on the front page, bringing you links to important stories you should be reading even if we're not going to take the two hours to add our elephant dick jokes. But maybe not just yet this morning, since Evan is me today and he IS BUSY OKAY.
Most of the changes will be for us on the back end, for instance we will FINALLY have a/b testing, so that when Evan and I disagree (rarely!) about his headlines, I can prove he was wrong with the science of math.
Are you a member and want to log in? We're working on it, but you'll have to reset your password, we think.
For the rest of you, wish us bon chance please, and by all means let us know bugs you run across at email@example.com; we appreciate your eyes in addition to your wallets. (I paid CASH MONEY UPFRONT for the new system, the hardest check I ever had to write. So if you are addicted to giving us money, it is your lucky day.)
Thank you for reading Wonkette, and watch out for incoming! That asshole was at it all weekend. Again.
Yours in Christ,
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.