This Is The Worst Thing Pat Robertson Has Ever Said

Televangelist scam artist Pat Robertson has said some horrible, terrible, evil, awful words in his 315 years on this Earth. About how to beat your kids just right, how to pray the gay away, how to doll yourself up so your husband doesn't cheat on you. Also, some straight-up crazy talk about Satanic vegetables. Usually, we try to find the funny -- haha, look what creepy old Uncle Pat said on his show today! -- and then we make some jokes about it. But Robertson's advice to "Jane," on how to comfort a coworker whose three-year-old died, is So. Fucking. The Worst:

As far as God’s concerned, He knows the end from the beginning, and He sees a little baby, and that little baby could grow up to be Adolf Hitler, he could grow up to be Joseph Stalin, he could grow up to be some serial killer, or he could grow up to die of a hideous disease. God sees all of that, and for that life to be terminated while he’s a baby, he’s going to be with God forever in Heaven so it isn’t a bad thing.

Robertson, as you are no doubt aware or at least could have guessed, is one of those Bible-humping schmucks who casually compares abortion to the Holocaust, thereby assuring his seat in hell, if there is such a place. (And it's times like these that you really hope there is.)

He and others like him -- including, please note, some who are running for president right now -- do so because they don't give a good goddamn about the victims of Hitler or Stalin, or even about those precious babies they're supposedly trying to save. Because hey, when God terminates a life now, so it doesn't end later from, say, a "hideous disease," that's a blessing. When a woman does it, she's a murderer. Think of the babies. Save the babies. ALL the babies.

But, presto change-o praise the Lord-o, at least for today's episode and talking points, dead babies are not "a bad thing." Do not grieve for them, for they are lucky to have been summoned to that great abortion clinic in the sky. And we are lucky to have dodged a bullet, because you never know which kid will grow up to slaughter millions of people.

We'd ask if this means it's A-OK now for women to choose to terminate their pregnancies -- "I was getting that genocidal vibe from my fetus, doctor, let's spare the world, just in case" -- but we know better. Just like we know that we must respect the sanctity of all human life, up until that life ends up on death row and then it's time to flip the switch, yee haw, JUSTICE!

We are quite sure "Jane" is some poor schlub who works for Robertson and gets paid to write up questions from "viewers," but in case you want a real answer about what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a child, or any loved one, "I'm sorry for your loss" works. Or even "I don't know what to say." Recycling dumb jokes, before the body is even buried, is not acceptable. (Yes, Ted Cruz, we are STILL disgusted, though not surprised, by your lack of humanity.)

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Also best to leave Hitler out of it. That is something any moderately decent human being -- especially one who invokes God and Jesus Humanity Christ all day long -- should understand.



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